A challenge issued

This last Sunday was the final installment of our 4 part series entitled Postcards from Eternity. We were studying Jesus' words to the 7 churches in the book of Revelation. This Sunday's sermon was about the church of Laodicea, the "lukewarm church." And our pastor issued us all a challenge, to spend this week fasting (either food or some other thing we enjoy) in order to hear better God speaking to us.

One of the things I know I fall into too easily is surfing around aimlessly online. Somehow I need to go online long enough to write my blogs and then discipline myself enough to leave the computer alone.

This is made even harder on snow days when my whole routine is turned upside down. Further pondering required on this one.

Snow daze

In Northern Virginia, any type of frozen precipitation is treated as though it has the same rarity as a solar eclipse. I mean, come on, ordinary rain sends traffic into snarls that take hours to untangle. You would think, what with all the folks who drive fully rigged status SUVs that winter weather would just be a walk in the park. Ummm.....no.

And so we are all forced to do this annoying little guessing game about which schools/businesses/governments will be open and for how long. On storm days you put your radio or TV on and keep it on as you go about your morning routine.

Yesterday morning presented our family with just about the worst possible snow day scenario. That is, it wasn't snowing even a flake when my husband (who teaches in the county just north of us) got up and checked all the news sources. But all the counties to the west of us had closed school -so we knew it was coming. Which meant I had to go to all the trouble of getting 3 children up, dressed, fed, bundled, and in the car to drive to the bus stop.

Except....by time I got up there was nearly an inch of snow on the ground - which, silly as it sounds, generally means all schools will be closed. I brushed the snow off my car 3 times before the kids were ready to leave, got them bundled in, and got to the bus stop. I was just in time to see my daughter's bus pass our stop going the wrong way. This puzzled me, so I called the transportation line - and was told they'd JUST made the decision to close school for the day. Sigh.

So I got to spend the next 2 hours with 3 excited children bouncing off the walls and trying to respond to questions and requests every 30 seconds.....

Mommy, can I go out in the back yard and play in the snow?
Mommy, where are my boots?
Mommy, can I have some hot chocolate?
Mommy, do you know where my gloves are?
Mommy, is Daddy off from school too?
Mommy, can Daddy take us sledding?

and on, and on , and on.....while I am trying to hang up coats to dry, dry other wet things in the dryer, put out the trash, feed the cat, find the cocoa, make some COFFEE for crying out loud because I haven't had any yet in all this confusion. In the midst of all this my mother calls - and then my husband calls to say he can't get to his in-service class and his principal said he could just make his way home.

Well.

Once we got all that sorted out it was a fun and relaxing day off. The kids got to go sledding, and after they got back anyone who wanted to took a nice long nap. Ahh.

It's funny how time seems to move differently on a snow day. Plus there's always the interesting challenge of keeping little ones occupied once the sledding time is done. And the ever popular how-long-can-we-manage-to-feed-ourselves-before-someone-must-make-a-treacherous-run-to-the-grocery-store game. Day 2 and still going strong. But if everything freezes up again tonight we'll be eating plain rice and noodles tomorrow....

What will the neighbors think?

Sometimes I am really curious as to how the antics of our family must look to our neighbors. I wonder what they think about our scraggly front garden (that I keep trying to do something with but nothing new will take root). I wonder what they think about our snaggle-tooth venetian blinds (which were attacked by 2 curious children and 1 feisty kitten). Let's see, there's also our 5 year old daughter, who thinks that clothes are optional. And our 9 year old son (who, being autistic) holds any and all conversations at the top of his lungs - on any random topic - in public places.

Mostly right now I wonder what the neighbors behind us think when our 2 yr. old son has his "quiet time" in his room. You see, he shares a room with his brother, whose bed runs underneath the window (which has been thoroughly babyproofed). And the venetian blind in that room was ripped from its moorings by the older 2 fighting over who got to close it. So what is Connor's favorite activity when he doesn't feel like "resting" during his "quiet time"? Why, jumping on his brother's bed, of course!

I can hear the neighbors now, "Honey, that little boy is bouncing in the window again! I wonder if he does that all the time?"

The answer being.....yep.

Do you ever get the feeling...

that God is trying to tell you something?

I think I'm supposed to be meditating on James 4:13-16, because my whole week's been turned upside down.

All 3 kids got sick this week, at staggered times. Just when I thought I was done with my nurse hat, the next one fell ill. And now, having finished the latest round of laundry, cleaning up children, etc. my brain is fried and any ideas I had to post are asleep in my tired mind.

Maybe later....

Yippee! It's here, it's here!

Our new computer is installed and running - now we just need to work the bugs out. Hopefully everything will be in order by the beginning of next week.

Help! I've fallen into my computer and I can't get up...

Sometimes the problem with being a SAHM is I have plenty of work to do but it's all boring. So I avoid it for awhile. And then I realize 3 hours have passed....oops.

By the time I check my blogs, and my friends' blogs, and their friends' blogs, and my Facebook, and my email - oh, gee....look at the time!

Maybe I need to put blinders on and just write on my own blogs and save everything else for later. It's hard, though, when you don't have a set schedule per se. And when it's cold outside and I feel like hibernating. And when I get superbusy and go into multitask overdrive as soon as my other two get home. It's like I do my unwinding at the beginning of the day in preparation for my very busy evening.

Of course, it's hard to just dash off my blogs first thing since I usually have a boy and a cat vying for lap space while I simultaneously juggle my coffee mug. Hmmm. Yes, that may have something to do with it.

Little cat in a Christmas tree

Well, here he is folks. Instead of a partridge in a pear tree, I have this. He's ever so pleased with himself too. Wonder what he'll get up to after it gets put away?

Upcoming blog maintenance

If my blogs go strangely silent sometime in the next week or two, it's because Santa finally delivered on that IOU for a new computer. Our poor old computer has been losing it's battle to keep up with the ever-changing, ever-increasing speed of the internet. So, as soon as the new one arrives, dear hubby will be up to his ears in computer components and installation instructions.

Yay!! It will be well worth the interruption to not have to worry about if I open one too many applications my system will wield the "beach ball of death" at me and go belly up.

Stay tuned...

Two turtledoves...and a cat in the Christmas tree

Our Christmas tree has been up since the second week of December. For reasons that only make sense to him, last night our 5 month old kitten, Simba, suddenly decided it would be a really nifty climbing toy. Now, we weren't surprised at his behavior - he's a cat, after all. I still vividly remember staying at our friends' place at Christmastime and watching their kitten felling the Christmas tree every half hour or so.

But I must admit I was expecting him to start climbing it the minute we put it up, not a month later. Why did he ignore it (except for attacking the bottom branches) until yesterday? Why did a switch suddenly go on in his little cat brain reminding him that cats climb trees and hey, there's a nice one right there?

One of the mysteries of the mind of the domestic house cat...

Running out of "up"

I'm running out of "up"
That sounds like Dr. Seuss
But really the whole problem
is my baby's on the loose.

My Junior Houdini is at it again. And now he's incorporated stealth into his antics. It used to be that I could tell what he was getting into by the noises he was making. Now, he's sneaky, he's fast, and he's QUIET. The only things truly safe from his clutches are those things that are actually locked up. Everything else he can reach, eventually.

Yesterday, he was playing upstairs - I could hear him I checked on him every few minutes, everything was fine, I thought. A few minutes later he comes toddling down the steps with his sister's antique night light in tow (it had been mine), looking for a place to plug it in. Utterly perplexed as to how he managed this feat, I went upstairs. He had taken the small chair we keep in the hall, had somehow lugged, tugged, and pushed it into his sister's room, and climbed up on it to reach the back of her dresser!

Every time he's gotten into something my first thought it to put it somewhere up high, out of his reach. Only, some things don't lend themselves to doing this (like lamps). And now, after over a year of doing this, I am running out of up. The top of every tall thing in the house is covered with objects put up to keep out of Connor's reach.

Maybe I can convince my very handy husband that storage units hanging from ceiling are the latest in high tech home fashion.... ya think?

Hiding in plain sight

So, sometimes I find that the answer to a prayer I've prayed has been sitting in front of me all along. Except that it's been sitting in front of me like so many puzzle pieces and I'm left without the picture on the box.

Today God gave me the picture - I think.

I can't be absolutely positive. But all the pieces seem to fit. These were the various pieces I've been trying to fit together:

1. God has called me to cut back on activities which affect our family schedule during the week.
2. God has called us to a church 20+ miles from our house.
3. I have been feeling antsy to really get out there and *do* something with my talents for God.
4. I have moved to the stage in my spiritual journey where I must learn to "feed myself" on the Word, rather than rely on someone else to teach me.
5. I need some sort of accountability in order to dig more deeply into the Bible (preferably every day) but pieces #1 through #4 kind of hinder that.
6. I have been feeling very isolated and frustrated by the seeming incompatibility of pieces #1 through #5.
7. I've been told I have a gift for writing, and the spiritual gift of teaching (or knowledge, some call it) and the loneliness and isolation seem to have kick-started a sudden need and craving to write.

As my dear friend D could tell you - this conundrum has been DRIVING ME ABSOLUTELY CRAZY for more than a year.

So what's the picture on the puzzle box?

I will very shortly be starting a new blog, specifically to write daily meditations working my way through the books of the Bible.

It's by no means a new idea. And I owe a great debt to Jon Acuff at Stuff Christians Like. He did a series on the book of Genesis a while back on his other site Prodigal Jon which had me mulling the idea over as a way to get our whole church studying the same part of the Bible at once.

As it turns out, I had the actual idea this past summer. I've just been operating under the assumption that I knew when and where it was supposed to be used. I thought it was supposed to be used only for our church, and not necessarily done by me. But I think God has been intending that I do this all along.

Since the running theme God keeps bringing me back to lately is the verse from Psalm 46:10, "Be still and know that I am God" the new blog is titled Be Still Before Him.

A few disclaimers:

1. I am not a professional theologian or trained Bible scholar.
2. I'm still a scatterbrain so until I really get into it I might forget!
3. I haven't got any particular order in mind, but I won't be going straight from Genesis through Revelation (especially cause I always get hung up around Numbers).
4. I'm going to try really hard to focus on the actual Scripture passage itself and not launch into amusing anecdotes. However, since I am relying on God to supply the inspiration I honestly have no idea what this will look like (or how long I'll last doing it).
5. I'll do my very best to remain Biblical and not hare off on weird tangents (cause it really annoys me when other writers do that).

Since I'm still technologically impaired it may take me a while to link everything up. Bear with me, please, I'm still learning. I will still post on Seeker's Soul because I always have random ponderings running through my brain. It also may take a while for me to settle into a rhythm of where I post when. In an ideal world I'd post on both M-F, but I know me.

I have no idea if this will fly, or if I'll have any audience for this, but I do have confirmation of a sort. My friend D says that when she's on target with a worship service element that "God explodes in her brain". I've found that when I'm on target with an idea, words explode in my brain. I'll be starting in the Gospel of John. Look for it in the next couple days.

Pondering one's roots

Geographical that is, not hair. Although I suppose at 40 that may be just around the corner.

We did a lot of driving this past Christmas break, all of it to visit with family that we don't get to see very often. Our travels took us to Levittown, PA, Brooklyn, NY, Allentown, PA, Reading, PA and finally back home to Virginia. Almost 800 miles and 21 hours in a car with 3 small children (over a period of 7 days). It gave me lots of time to ponder. We drove through urban, suburban, and rural areas. We passed farms, housing developments, and industrial sites. All but the scenery on the way to New York was very familiar to me.

I grew up in Pennsylvania. Born and raised in Reading, PA, in my lifetime I have traveled over most of the state at one time or another - the exception being the northwest corner - had no reason to go there, yet. I've visited Philadelphia and Pittsburgh and a lot of what's in between. I've logged countless miles on the Pennsylvania Turnpike. I've lived in Reading, Annville , Canadensis, Spring City, and Bensalem. Home town, college, two summer jobs at different camps, and our first place after being married. I've lived between tracts of farmland and two major highways.

As I was walking through Allentown to the playground where my husband had taken the kids to get some fresh air and exercise, a passage from one of my favorite movies started echoing through my brain...

"Katie Scarlett O'Hara, do you mean to tell me that Tara, that land doesn't mean anything to you? Why land is the only thing in the world worth workin' for, worth fightin' for, worth dyin' for because it's the only thing that lasts."

"And to anyone with a drop of Irish blood in them, why the land they live on is like their mother."

If you don't recognize it, that's Gerald O'Hara talking to his daughter, Scarlett, in Gone With the Wind. I started wondering if that attachment to land didn't apply to more than just the Irish. Somewhere, a few years ago, I read that around 70% of the population of Pennsylvania consists of folks who were born there. As opposed to California and Florida, where much of the population moved there. I've talked to a lot of people here in Virginia who are transplanted Pennsylvanians like myself. Almost always we get to talking like long lost friends about the places we've lived and visited. That's one of the peculiar things about America. All 50 states are part of one country, and yet each state has it's own character and personality. Even though the Civil War is many years gone, a New Englander and a Southerner still have their own unique characteristics. (Of course, many rural Virginians still fly the Confederate flag, but that's a different post entirely.) And Texas is practically its own country.

I found it odd that even though we have lived in Northern Virginia for going on 10 years, one week in Pennsylvania made me feel like I'd come home. Don't get me wrong - I like our new state, our city, our neighborhood. Rural Virginia has mountains and scenery every bit as beautiful as that of Pennsylvania.

So I started wondering what was up with that. What is it I'm actually missing? Or what is it I'm actually feeling connected to? Is it the land itself? The people? Do I miss the place or is it just that most of my memories were made there?

I do think part of it is living in the DC Metro area can be very isolating. Even when we visited my brother-in-law and his family in Brooklyn, we noticed that folks actually come *out* of their houses and spend time together. All the neighborhood children play together at the playground. Now, I'm not a city mouse. But even I could see why they enjoy living there. Culture and history fairly ooze from the stones of the buildings - and people make a point to connect to that culture and each other.

Here, everyone hides. In their homes, their cars, or at least their technology. I have only one other mom-friend in my neighborhood. And 2 acquaintances. After 10 years. It's not for lack of trying, either. I've taken my kids to various playgrounds many times hoping to connect with other moms. I was in a moms group for 4 years, when my oldest was little. Even there, it felt like we were little more than strangers.

Like my 5 year old daughter, I am a social butterfly. I am happiest around people. But I'm not into shallow relationships. I'm terrible at small talk. I love having deep, meaningful, philosophical conversations. Except that the friends I feel most connected to emotionally, are the farthest away geographically. This leads to a weird sort of manic depressive social life. During the week, when I am mostly by myself with just the children, I feel very much like Moses wandering around in the my own personal desert. On the weekends, when I participate in church stuff (our church being over 20 miles away) I feel all happy and excited and part of the group. And on a few rare, golden occasions, I get to see some of those really good friends who live even farther away.

I haven't figured out how to manage this state of affairs in my brain. I can't spend my whole week looking forward to my Friday prayer meeting or my set design work at church. But I get more and more frustrated just puttering around the house doing my chores in isolation. I've had some really long talks with God about this whole situation. I've tried Brother Lawrence's practicing the Presence of God. Unfortunately I'm not very good at this yet.

It made me ponder further, am I really missing something tangible (like the PA countryside) or something intangible (the places I've felt closest to God). One is very obviously still there, changing daily with the winds of Progress. The other exists only in my memory. Do I feel less connected to society around me because IT has changed, or because I have? If I moved back to some random part of Pennsylvania, would it feel any more like home? You know the old saying, "wherever you go, there you are" - well, I know I have changed a lot in the past 10 years. Those changes go with me wherever I go.

Perhaps it is simply a part of (what, as a Christian I believe is) picking up my cross daily, and sharing in the sufferings of Christ. Perhaps my cross is to share in the loneliness and isolation that Jesus must have felt, living among those who never truly understood Him. Perhaps these are my own desert wanderings. Or maybe, just maybe, I am beginning to feel the true reality of my situation as a follower of Christ as set forth in Hebrews 13:14

"For here have we no continuing city, but we seek one to come."

Guess it's a good thing I like camping...

Rain, rain go away...

come again perhaps in May. You know, when it's warm again.

So while the northern part of our country is shoveling out from under snowstorm after snowstorm, northern VA has gotten 3....straight.....days....of.....cold.....rain. Brrrr. Cold rain just chills me to the bone. And makes the kids all grexy (oops, my PA Dutch is showing). And for some bizarre reason magnifies No. #1 son's autistic tendencies. No one seems to know why this is. But every time we have several days of rainy weather in a row, it happens. Is it the low barometric pressure? Lack of sunlight? Lethargy masquerading as aggression? I have no idea.

Nothing in any parenting manual or autism help site can help me navigate these murky child rearing waters. Believe me, I've looked.

Days like this I wish I could buy one of those giant moonbounce things and stick the grumpy child in it until they've jumped out all their grumpiness.

Either that or, sun lamp, anyone?

Technology and me - uneasy bedfellows

So just before leaving for our Christmas holiday excursion I decided I wanted to be part of the Sitstahood - a group of lady bloggers (from The Secret is in the Sauce) who offer each other comment recognition and support. I was going to "join" before I left. There was just one problem. I am technology impaired. In all the hurry scurry of packing I knew I did not have time to sit and figure out widgets....again.

It seems I know just enough technology to be dangerous. My husband, the techno-wiz-kid alternately laughs and gets exasperated about this. I use the computer mostly for email and internet stuff, my cell phone for calls only, and my iPod just for songs. Forget the bells and whistles - just the basic functions for me, please.

Every time I try to do something new on my blog I have to spend a great deal of time experimenting and doing it wrong before I get it right. If I'm lucky I manage not to lose any other information while I'm at it. URL's and HTML and Widgets - can't do them even a little bit wrong or the whole thing crashes. Kind of like when you fill out your taxes - oh, wait - my husband does that these days.

So after 15 minutes of searching for the right function and 10 minutes of trying to copy the HTML code - ta da! It's finally done. Such a feeling of satisfaction. Applause. Applause.