Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Pain is a potent teacher

I'm in a lot of pain today. A couple days ago I managed to wrench my shoulder muscles in the midst of wrestling my strong and stubborn baby son into his car seat. I didn't notice it right away - but by that evening the whole upper left side of my body was throbbing in pain. Even with pain killers in me it kept me from sleeping that night. For the past two days I've felt like a bird with a broken wing. You'd be amazed at how many times a day you use that muscle between your neck and your shoulder blade.

Some would say well, go to the doctor. Except I already know what he'll say - here's some pain medication and rest it as much as possible. I've been trying to rest it but I've been learning a little more just how fearfully and wonderfully God has made us. Did you know you use your shoulder muscles to type? I didn't - but I'm quickly learning it now. Did you know you use your shoulder muscles for balance, even when you're not carrying anything in that hand? I do now. Every time you reach for something, every time you drive your car, even just holding something in your hand - you use your shoulder muscles. Arrgh....ow....ouch.

This comes on the heels of a very annoying, exhausting week last week. Easter Sunday - we'd gotten home at 1 am, but staggered and stumbled our way to church that morning. Only to get there and find out it's family Sunday so there is no child care except for the little ones (which we're keeping Connor out of right now to keep watch on his teeth). So after 90 minutes of trying to hold them still (I was out in the hall with Connor for half of it) they were just done....finished....done. We dragged our grumpy children home, fed them, then Brian did grades for 4 hours (I collapsed for a nap). I woke up to the kids complaining they didn't get to do Easter eggs (I'd thought Brian was going to do that in the afternoon but his work took too long).

Made dinner to the sounds of complaining children, ate, got them started on baths. Realized I'd forgotten to call my mother - call her up and find out she was in a car accident coming home from church. Thank God she was okay, but her car was probably totaled. Talk to her for over an hour trying to comfort and calm her down. Fall exhausted and sad into bed.

Monday tried to catch up with things.

Tuesday took the kids to the pediatric dentist for (what I thought was regular cleaning/checkup). Chris was fine, but the dentist insisted Charlotte was going to need $2,000 worth of work on her teeth. Huh?!? Said that she had all these cavities between her teeth. Was there all morning, the kids missed half of school - terrified, exhausted and depressed I slogged through the rain to drop them off at their respective schools.

Tuesday afternoon called my husband, my mother, and my in-laws for comfort and advice. Fell into a deep, dark hole of depression - took a nap in hopes that recovering from my adrenaline rush would help.

Wednesday and Thursday - sun came out - felt a little better - made appointment with original dentist for second opinion. Mom had talked with insurance company, gotten rental car, and though the car would be totaled, she felt better and more optimistic about car shopping.

By the time the weekend rolls around, all I want to do is sleep - tired from being on this emotional rollercoaster.

All this has left me feeling far removed from my "normal" life and its busyness.

Added on top of some of the things I experienced while away on spring break (which were good things) has had me spending a lot of time with God, pondering whether I'd had too much busyness and not enough life, in my life lately.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

My assignment for the next 8 weeks

Just when I think perhaps I have a handle on the direction God wants me to go in this journey with Him, He throws me a curveball. I have a new assignment for the next 8 weeks - I will be playing the role of bodyguard for my youngest son Connor. Not that I don't usually do this in some capacity, but for the next 2 months I will be doing it at the extreme sport level.

You see, Tuesday morning my fearless little daredevil managed to launch himself from the top of the high-backed office chair we keep at our computer desk in the kitchen - and crash landed on the kitchen floor face first. He'd been most impatiently waiting for me to get him some more breakfast and had climbed up on the chair, with his feet on the armrests and leaning on the tall back. (Before you think I'm completely crazy or irresponsible he had done this maneuver hundreds of times and is normally as sure footed as a cat). Well I grabbed him up, sat him down, moved the chair away from the counter, and turned around to finish fixing his food.

Not thirty seconds later I hear a tremendous crash and crying and turn around to see Connor now on all fours on the chair back, with the chair toppled over on the floor. I didn't see what happened, but my guess is that he was trying to propel the chair forward and simple managed to tip it over. Well, I did the usual mommy triage - check head, face, teeth, limbs, look for blood. Amazingly, he did not hit his head or his face - he must have instinctually cushioned his fall on his arms and the high padded back of the chair.

Unfortunately, since he must have been peering over the chair when it tipped, most of the force of his fall landed on his top front teeth. For when I looked inside his mouth and saw all the blood, I figured he'd bitten his lip (that happened with Chris at this age, and I know what to do for that). Except that.....I couldn't see anything wrong with his lips or tongue, but he was bleeding profusely from under the tops of his top teeth. Ohhhhh..... this can't be good. And he was crying hysterically, so hard he was practically making himself sick. This from the little boy who usually just picks himself up and toddles away after a few minutes of consolation.

Well....I had a snap decision to make. Emergency room or pediatrician? Since it didn't look like he had any other serious injuries and since all his little teeth still seemed pretty firmly in his mouth, I opted for the pediatrician (cause I knew that we'd be all day in the emergency room. And since our pediatrician's office is in the hospital complex it would be a simple matter to get him down there if she thought it necessary. (Did I mention it was 9:30am and I hadn't had coffee, breakfast, or shower yet? We'd only just gotten back from dropping his brother and sister off at the bus stop.)

So the pediatrician confirmed that his only real injury was to his teeth, but she couldn't say what exactly he'd done - just give him soft foods, medicine for the pain, and call his dentist. I called our family dentist, explained what happened - they said that he should have an x-ray but they wouldn't do it because he was under age 4 (he's 2 1/2). I would need to take him to a pediatric dentist.

Sigh.....red tape, and more red tape. I found a pediatric dentist in the next town north of us (Centreville, for those who'd recognize it) and made an appointment for the next day. Well, the dentist was lovely and took very good care of him, took an x-ray, and surveyed the damage. Turns out there was good news and bad news.

The good news - he did not fracture any baby teeth or damage his permanent teeth underneath, and since his baby teeth were not really loosened, there was a good chance they'd be just fine.

The bad news - what he did when he fell was jammed his teeth up into his gum, causing them to spring back out and sever all the nerves in the front 4 or 5 teeth. That's what caused all the bleeding (sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach).

In order to give his little teeth the best chance possible for a full recovery, for next 8 weeks, this is what we must do:

1. Cut up all his food so he will automatically chew it on his back teeth.
2. Do not let him use a sippy cup anywhere he could hit a bump and jostle his teeth (car, stroller).
3. Do not let him put any toys in his mouth that he could bite on (and, being 2 - he's still at this stage a bit, especially when he gets mad). Because he won't feel pain if he does since it was the nerves that were affected.
4. Brush his teeth very thoroughly and gently twice a day and check his gums for signs of infection - any signs of infection warrents immediate call to the pediatric dentist.
5. Somehow keep him from falling and re-injuring his teeth (harder than it sounds because this is daredevil boy who jumps and pelts himself everywhere).
6. Bring him in for x-rays and re-evaluation in one week and then 7 weeks later.
7. Somehow manage to let him be a normal happy playing little boy during this time.

There you go. Mission Impossible Connor. For the next 8 weeks.

I keep reminding myself that he didn't give himself a serious head injury or scar his little face. It's not like he's been diagnosed with some incurable disease. He's happily playing as I type this. But for the next 8 weeks I will feel as though I'm juggling raw eggs....