Life of Beth=:) (Chapter 5 - Early Middle School)

Ah, yes. The middle school years. Those years of Hello Kitty, slam books, rainbows and unicorns, blue eyeshadow, and fashion fads. I have to admit, it wasn't all bad. But in the same way that the Grand Canyon was fashioned by years of water running through the rock, so my spirit was fashioned by the spiritual warfare going on around and inside me - mostly in the form of teasing. Now it is perhaps true that I was a very sensitive kid, and others got teased too. But as my friend D likes to say, the mind can't take a joke. It didn't much matter to me then that they were kids, or that they just joking. It hurt me. A lot. Exactly how much I am only now discovering years later as I try to remove (with God's help) the layers of the masks I erected to protect myself from it.

(An aside: this part is really hard to write, I keep finding myself doing *anything* to avoid it)

Ok, so how best to explain. Well, for starters, I'm a shy extrovert with a people pleasing complex. Which means I like to be around lots of people, I like to be liked, but I can be very socially awkward around people I don't know or those who intimidate me. Now stick that mental picture into a small town middle school environment and you'll begin to understand. And to fill in your mental gaps I'll add that in 5th and 6th grade I went through my pre-growth spurt chub phase, puberty was not cooperating with me, I had to start wearing glasses in 6th grade, was no good at sports, and needed braces (but didn't get them then for reasons waaay too long to go into.) Oh, and I had a propensity for sticking my foot in my mouth on a regular basis by uttering things with double meanings that I was too naive to recognize. Erk.

Getting the picture? Good, because I've hidden away the evidence. Suffice to say I was pretty much the epitome of the geeky wallflower and I took refuge in my books, my few close friends, my family, and my church. Only, even church wasn't always a refuge because many of those same dynamics were going on in my youth group. So I spent a great deal of time reading, daydreaming, and trying to not make waves. In retrospect I'm realizing I succeeded a little too well.

There were a few highlights. In 6th grade I found a new best friend, Carolyn (except her family moved at the end of the year cause her dad was military). And I went on my first camping trip with the 6th grade class, where I learned that I love camping. My folks were not "camping" people so they had never taken me. The love of camping would end up becoming very important in my life later on.

Stay tuned for Part 2, Late Middle School....fade out on a Barry Manilow song.....