Day after Christmas - presents unwrapped, children cranky and bored, too much rich food eaten, tired and depressed, feels like the flu is coming on. Anyone else experience "Christmas crash"?
In a way, this is all tied in to the spiritual path I find myself on these days. It's December - supposedly "the most wonderful time of the year". A time when the world-at-large tells us we should be "decking the halls" and "rockin' around the Christmas tree". But I imagine I am not the only person who, as merchants and advertisers get louder and more obnoxious each year about hawking their wares - who wishes that the whole commercialized end of the business would disappear for good. Who wonders if perhaps those few unusual folks who book their Caribbean cruise to escape the whole thing have the right idea.
As a little girl, I was crazy about everything Christmas. It was also my Dad's favorite time of the year, so I got to spend extra time with him working on Christmas stuff. But I was an only child, my mom a SAHM, and my dad was home by 6pm every night. And we lived in a small suburb of a small-ish city. Pretty much everything we needed was no more than a 10 minute car ride away.
Fast forward to today - I am a SAHM of 3 children (all school age). My two sons have special needs. My husband, a music/orchestra teacher, has a holiday concert week next week. Four concerts - one each Mon. through Thurs. For us, it will be like he's on a week long business trip. Except he will sleep at home. The oldest celebrates his birthday on Monday, and has his own holiday concert the Monday after. We are a very, very busy family and we live in very, very busy area (metro DC).
I began to realize a few years ago, that if I wanted to keep my health and sanity intact, I needed to pull back from what is "expected" at the holidays. A dear friend compartmentalizes them into Christ-mass (celebration of the Holy) and X-mess (the commercialized end of the season). I know I am not the only one who wonders if we would *all* be better off without the X-mess. I mean really - just think about the many, many things that may be on a person's to-do list at the holidays (and it wouldn't matter much your religious persuasion as the whole country gets caught up in it).
1. Decorating the house
2. Writing holiday cards
3. Buying presents
4. Holiday baking, meal-planning (with accompanying extra trips to grocery store)
5. Holiday photos
6. Parties of all sorts (school, work, social)
7. Holiday performances (for those who sing, play, or dance)
8. Extra charitable work (for scouts or religious organizations)
9. Extra services, programs, and projects for church, temple, etc.
10. Visiting far-flung family (packing to travel, or major cleaning to entertain, or
both!
And....that's just the short list. Add in people with December birthdays, single parent families, a bad economy, traffic snarls, short tempers, skeletons in family closets, and flu season - well, someone ought to make a disaster movie out of the whole thing!
I don't think it matters if you celebrate Christ's birth, Hannukah, Kwanzaa, or the winter solstice. Does any of us really need or want this craziness any more? Am I the only one who finds advertisements for thousand dollar laptops, giant flat screen tv's and cars wearing giant red bows insulting?
Well, regardless of whether anyone else does, I've decided that *I* do. And I'm doing something about - by doing less - a lot less. I'm doing the things that are necessary and important to our family.
For example:
1. I will bake my Grandma's homemade chocolate cake for Chris' birthday, and have a small family celebration. Christmas cookie baking optional.
2. I will not feel guilty about not sending Christmas cards - I don't enjoy doing them, and they take up too much time.
3. Holiday concerts will be attended (and conducted, in Brian's case). It's his paycheck and my son's grade.
4. Church will be attended on Sunday only - no Christmas programs, no choir, no special events - exception made for Christmas Eve (if such service is planned).
5. No holiday over-spending. Cash only, within budget. Extended family will have to live with that.
6. Christmas day meals will consist of Special Holiday Breakfast (usually special egg strata with cinnamon buns or some such) and chicken and waffles for dinner. Get your own lunch. Mom is neither Paula Deen nor Martha Stewart. (And since Mom will be starting holiday packing preparations on Christmas night, Mom needs energy to do so.)
7. Holiday decorations will consist of those things which are easy and make sense. One Christmas tree will be decorated. One door decoration will be hung. All other decorations (outside lights, etc.) are on an optional, as-time-permits basis.
8. Holiday preparations will *not* be made at the expense of sleep, meals, or sanity of either parents or children.
9. Time will be made for quiet reflection and family togetherness.
And, maybe those of us with a religious bent - I can only speak for Christians, but perhaps other have this too - should implore our churches, etc. to not add to the burden. I can't tell you how many years I have spent wearing myself out "in the service of Christ" at the holidays. Choir rehearsals, drama rehearsals, dinners, service projects, toy and clothing drives, Sunday school productions, parties, evangelism outreach, extra services. Countless Christmases (and Easters) I've spent sick and/or with laryngitis from singing 2-3 holiday productions a day. In the service of Christ (or so we say.) Perhaps we (and our neighbors) would be better off if we stopped contributing to the craziness and ministered to our families and the poor and lonely at the holidays - and skipped the glitz and glitter.
Me, I'll be at home, quietly lighting candles and contemplating a Light in the darkness...
Showing posts with label spiritual walk. Show all posts
Showing posts with label spiritual walk. Show all posts
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Labels and the road less travelled
Did you ever get the feeling that God (Spirit, the Divine, Life the Universe and Everything - insert personal preference here) was encouraging, pushing, pulling, yanking, tugging you in a direction you not only never thought you'd go, but never thought you *could* go? Almost as if it is going to happen despite (or because of) your best efforts to insure otherwise?
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
A challenge issued
This last Sunday was the final installment of our 4 part series entitled Postcards from Eternity. We were studying Jesus' words to the 7 churches in the book of Revelation. This Sunday's sermon was about the church of Laodicea, the "lukewarm church." And our pastor issued us all a challenge, to spend this week fasting (either food or some other thing we enjoy) in order to hear better God speaking to us.
One of the things I know I fall into too easily is surfing around aimlessly online. Somehow I need to go online long enough to write my blogs and then discipline myself enough to leave the computer alone.
This is made even harder on snow days when my whole routine is turned upside down. Further pondering required on this one.
One of the things I know I fall into too easily is surfing around aimlessly online. Somehow I need to go online long enough to write my blogs and then discipline myself enough to leave the computer alone.
This is made even harder on snow days when my whole routine is turned upside down. Further pondering required on this one.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Hiding in plain sight
So, sometimes I find that the answer to a prayer I've prayed has been sitting in front of me all along. Except that it's been sitting in front of me like so many puzzle pieces and I'm left without the picture on the box.
Today God gave me the picture - I think.
I can't be absolutely positive. But all the pieces seem to fit. These were the various pieces I've been trying to fit together:
1. God has called me to cut back on activities which affect our family schedule during the week.
2. God has called us to a church 20+ miles from our house.
3. I have been feeling antsy to really get out there and *do* something with my talents for God.
4. I have moved to the stage in my spiritual journey where I must learn to "feed myself" on the Word, rather than rely on someone else to teach me.
5. I need some sort of accountability in order to dig more deeply into the Bible (preferably every day) but pieces #1 through #4 kind of hinder that.
6. I have been feeling very isolated and frustrated by the seeming incompatibility of pieces #1 through #5.
7. I've been told I have a gift for writing, and the spiritual gift of teaching (or knowledge, some call it) and the loneliness and isolation seem to have kick-started a sudden need and craving to write.
As my dear friend D could tell you - this conundrum has been DRIVING ME ABSOLUTELY CRAZY for more than a year.
So what's the picture on the puzzle box?
I will very shortly be starting a new blog, specifically to write daily meditations working my way through the books of the Bible.
It's by no means a new idea. And I owe a great debt to Jon Acuff at Stuff Christians Like. He did a series on the book of Genesis a while back on his other site Prodigal Jon which had me mulling the idea over as a way to get our whole church studying the same part of the Bible at once.
As it turns out, I had the actual idea this past summer. I've just been operating under the assumption that I knew when and where it was supposed to be used. I thought it was supposed to be used only for our church, and not necessarily done by me. But I think God has been intending that I do this all along.
Since the running theme God keeps bringing me back to lately is the verse from Psalm 46:10, "Be still and know that I am God" the new blog is titled Be Still Before Him.
A few disclaimers:
1. I am not a professional theologian or trained Bible scholar.
2. I'm still a scatterbrain so until I really get into it I might forget!
3. I haven't got any particular order in mind, but I won't be going straight from Genesis through Revelation (especially cause I always get hung up around Numbers).
4. I'm going to try really hard to focus on the actual Scripture passage itself and not launch into amusing anecdotes. However, since I am relying on God to supply the inspiration I honestly have no idea what this will look like (or how long I'll last doing it).
5. I'll do my very best to remain Biblical and not hare off on weird tangents (cause it really annoys me when other writers do that).
Since I'm still technologically impaired it may take me a while to link everything up. Bear with me, please, I'm still learning. I will still post on Seeker's Soul because I always have random ponderings running through my brain. It also may take a while for me to settle into a rhythm of where I post when. In an ideal world I'd post on both M-F, but I know me.
I have no idea if this will fly, or if I'll have any audience for this, but I do have confirmation of a sort. My friend D says that when she's on target with a worship service element that "God explodes in her brain". I've found that when I'm on target with an idea, words explode in my brain. I'll be starting in the Gospel of John. Look for it in the next couple days.
Today God gave me the picture - I think.
I can't be absolutely positive. But all the pieces seem to fit. These were the various pieces I've been trying to fit together:
1. God has called me to cut back on activities which affect our family schedule during the week.
2. God has called us to a church 20+ miles from our house.
3. I have been feeling antsy to really get out there and *do* something with my talents for God.
4. I have moved to the stage in my spiritual journey where I must learn to "feed myself" on the Word, rather than rely on someone else to teach me.
5. I need some sort of accountability in order to dig more deeply into the Bible (preferably every day) but pieces #1 through #4 kind of hinder that.
6. I have been feeling very isolated and frustrated by the seeming incompatibility of pieces #1 through #5.
7. I've been told I have a gift for writing, and the spiritual gift of teaching (or knowledge, some call it) and the loneliness and isolation seem to have kick-started a sudden need and craving to write.
As my dear friend D could tell you - this conundrum has been DRIVING ME ABSOLUTELY CRAZY for more than a year.
So what's the picture on the puzzle box?
I will very shortly be starting a new blog, specifically to write daily meditations working my way through the books of the Bible.
It's by no means a new idea. And I owe a great debt to Jon Acuff at Stuff Christians Like. He did a series on the book of Genesis a while back on his other site Prodigal Jon which had me mulling the idea over as a way to get our whole church studying the same part of the Bible at once.
As it turns out, I had the actual idea this past summer. I've just been operating under the assumption that I knew when and where it was supposed to be used. I thought it was supposed to be used only for our church, and not necessarily done by me. But I think God has been intending that I do this all along.
Since the running theme God keeps bringing me back to lately is the verse from Psalm 46:10, "Be still and know that I am God" the new blog is titled Be Still Before Him.
A few disclaimers:
1. I am not a professional theologian or trained Bible scholar.
2. I'm still a scatterbrain so until I really get into it I might forget!
3. I haven't got any particular order in mind, but I won't be going straight from Genesis through Revelation (especially cause I always get hung up around Numbers).
4. I'm going to try really hard to focus on the actual Scripture passage itself and not launch into amusing anecdotes. However, since I am relying on God to supply the inspiration I honestly have no idea what this will look like (or how long I'll last doing it).
5. I'll do my very best to remain Biblical and not hare off on weird tangents (cause it really annoys me when other writers do that).
Since I'm still technologically impaired it may take me a while to link everything up. Bear with me, please, I'm still learning. I will still post on Seeker's Soul because I always have random ponderings running through my brain. It also may take a while for me to settle into a rhythm of where I post when. In an ideal world I'd post on both M-F, but I know me.
I have no idea if this will fly, or if I'll have any audience for this, but I do have confirmation of a sort. My friend D says that when she's on target with a worship service element that "God explodes in her brain". I've found that when I'm on target with an idea, words explode in my brain. I'll be starting in the Gospel of John. Look for it in the next couple days.
Pondering one's roots
Geographical that is, not hair. Although I suppose at 40 that may be just around the corner.
We did a lot of driving this past Christmas break, all of it to visit with family that we don't get to see very often. Our travels took us to Levittown, PA, Brooklyn, NY, Allentown, PA, Reading, PA and finally back home to Virginia. Almost 800 miles and 21 hours in a car with 3 small children (over a period of 7 days). It gave me lots of time to ponder. We drove through urban, suburban, and rural areas. We passed farms, housing developments, and industrial sites. All but the scenery on the way to New York was very familiar to me.
I grew up in Pennsylvania. Born and raised in Reading, PA, in my lifetime I have traveled over most of the state at one time or another - the exception being the northwest corner - had no reason to go there, yet. I've visited Philadelphia and Pittsburgh and a lot of what's in between. I've logged countless miles on the Pennsylvania Turnpike. I've lived in Reading, Annville , Canadensis, Spring City, and Bensalem. Home town, college, two summer jobs at different camps, and our first place after being married. I've lived between tracts of farmland and two major highways.
As I was walking through Allentown to the playground where my husband had taken the kids to get some fresh air and exercise, a passage from one of my favorite movies started echoing through my brain...
"Katie Scarlett O'Hara, do you mean to tell me that Tara, that land doesn't mean anything to you? Why land is the only thing in the world worth workin' for, worth fightin' for, worth dyin' for because it's the only thing that lasts."
"And to anyone with a drop of Irish blood in them, why the land they live on is like their mother."
If you don't recognize it, that's Gerald O'Hara talking to his daughter, Scarlett, in Gone With the Wind. I started wondering if that attachment to land didn't apply to more than just the Irish. Somewhere, a few years ago, I read that around 70% of the population of Pennsylvania consists of folks who were born there. As opposed to California and Florida, where much of the population moved there. I've talked to a lot of people here in Virginia who are transplanted Pennsylvanians like myself. Almost always we get to talking like long lost friends about the places we've lived and visited. That's one of the peculiar things about America. All 50 states are part of one country, and yet each state has it's own character and personality. Even though the Civil War is many years gone, a New Englander and a Southerner still have their own unique characteristics. (Of course, many rural Virginians still fly the Confederate flag, but that's a different post entirely.) And Texas is practically its own country.
I found it odd that even though we have lived in Northern Virginia for going on 10 years, one week in Pennsylvania made me feel like I'd come home. Don't get me wrong - I like our new state, our city, our neighborhood. Rural Virginia has mountains and scenery every bit as beautiful as that of Pennsylvania.
So I started wondering what was up with that. What is it I'm actually missing? Or what is it I'm actually feeling connected to? Is it the land itself? The people? Do I miss the place or is it just that most of my memories were made there?
I do think part of it is living in the DC Metro area can be very isolating. Even when we visited my brother-in-law and his family in Brooklyn, we noticed that folks actually come *out* of their houses and spend time together. All the neighborhood children play together at the playground. Now, I'm not a city mouse. But even I could see why they enjoy living there. Culture and history fairly ooze from the stones of the buildings - and people make a point to connect to that culture and each other.
Here, everyone hides. In their homes, their cars, or at least their technology. I have only one other mom-friend in my neighborhood. And 2 acquaintances. After 10 years. It's not for lack of trying, either. I've taken my kids to various playgrounds many times hoping to connect with other moms. I was in a moms group for 4 years, when my oldest was little. Even there, it felt like we were little more than strangers.
Like my 5 year old daughter, I am a social butterfly. I am happiest around people. But I'm not into shallow relationships. I'm terrible at small talk. I love having deep, meaningful, philosophical conversations. Except that the friends I feel most connected to emotionally, are the farthest away geographically. This leads to a weird sort of manic depressive social life. During the week, when I am mostly by myself with just the children, I feel very much like Moses wandering around in the my own personal desert. On the weekends, when I participate in church stuff (our church being over 20 miles away) I feel all happy and excited and part of the group. And on a few rare, golden occasions, I get to see some of those really good friends who live even farther away.
I haven't figured out how to manage this state of affairs in my brain. I can't spend my whole week looking forward to my Friday prayer meeting or my set design work at church. But I get more and more frustrated just puttering around the house doing my chores in isolation. I've had some really long talks with God about this whole situation. I've tried Brother Lawrence's practicing the Presence of God. Unfortunately I'm not very good at this yet.
It made me ponder further, am I really missing something tangible (like the PA countryside) or something intangible (the places I've felt closest to God). One is very obviously still there, changing daily with the winds of Progress. The other exists only in my memory. Do I feel less connected to society around me because IT has changed, or because I have? If I moved back to some random part of Pennsylvania, would it feel any more like home? You know the old saying, "wherever you go, there you are" - well, I know I have changed a lot in the past 10 years. Those changes go with me wherever I go.
Perhaps it is simply a part of (what, as a Christian I believe is) picking up my cross daily, and sharing in the sufferings of Christ. Perhaps my cross is to share in the loneliness and isolation that Jesus must have felt, living among those who never truly understood Him. Perhaps these are my own desert wanderings. Or maybe, just maybe, I am beginning to feel the true reality of my situation as a follower of Christ as set forth in Hebrews 13:14
"For here have we no continuing city, but we seek one to come."
Guess it's a good thing I like camping...
We did a lot of driving this past Christmas break, all of it to visit with family that we don't get to see very often. Our travels took us to Levittown, PA, Brooklyn, NY, Allentown, PA, Reading, PA and finally back home to Virginia. Almost 800 miles and 21 hours in a car with 3 small children (over a period of 7 days). It gave me lots of time to ponder. We drove through urban, suburban, and rural areas. We passed farms, housing developments, and industrial sites. All but the scenery on the way to New York was very familiar to me.
I grew up in Pennsylvania. Born and raised in Reading, PA, in my lifetime I have traveled over most of the state at one time or another - the exception being the northwest corner - had no reason to go there, yet. I've visited Philadelphia and Pittsburgh and a lot of what's in between. I've logged countless miles on the Pennsylvania Turnpike. I've lived in Reading, Annville , Canadensis, Spring City, and Bensalem. Home town, college, two summer jobs at different camps, and our first place after being married. I've lived between tracts of farmland and two major highways.
As I was walking through Allentown to the playground where my husband had taken the kids to get some fresh air and exercise, a passage from one of my favorite movies started echoing through my brain...
"Katie Scarlett O'Hara, do you mean to tell me that Tara, that land doesn't mean anything to you? Why land is the only thing in the world worth workin' for, worth fightin' for, worth dyin' for because it's the only thing that lasts."
"And to anyone with a drop of Irish blood in them, why the land they live on is like their mother."
If you don't recognize it, that's Gerald O'Hara talking to his daughter, Scarlett, in Gone With the Wind. I started wondering if that attachment to land didn't apply to more than just the Irish. Somewhere, a few years ago, I read that around 70% of the population of Pennsylvania consists of folks who were born there. As opposed to California and Florida, where much of the population moved there. I've talked to a lot of people here in Virginia who are transplanted Pennsylvanians like myself. Almost always we get to talking like long lost friends about the places we've lived and visited. That's one of the peculiar things about America. All 50 states are part of one country, and yet each state has it's own character and personality. Even though the Civil War is many years gone, a New Englander and a Southerner still have their own unique characteristics. (Of course, many rural Virginians still fly the Confederate flag, but that's a different post entirely.) And Texas is practically its own country.
I found it odd that even though we have lived in Northern Virginia for going on 10 years, one week in Pennsylvania made me feel like I'd come home. Don't get me wrong - I like our new state, our city, our neighborhood. Rural Virginia has mountains and scenery every bit as beautiful as that of Pennsylvania.
So I started wondering what was up with that. What is it I'm actually missing? Or what is it I'm actually feeling connected to? Is it the land itself? The people? Do I miss the place or is it just that most of my memories were made there?
I do think part of it is living in the DC Metro area can be very isolating. Even when we visited my brother-in-law and his family in Brooklyn, we noticed that folks actually come *out* of their houses and spend time together. All the neighborhood children play together at the playground. Now, I'm not a city mouse. But even I could see why they enjoy living there. Culture and history fairly ooze from the stones of the buildings - and people make a point to connect to that culture and each other.
Here, everyone hides. In their homes, their cars, or at least their technology. I have only one other mom-friend in my neighborhood. And 2 acquaintances. After 10 years. It's not for lack of trying, either. I've taken my kids to various playgrounds many times hoping to connect with other moms. I was in a moms group for 4 years, when my oldest was little. Even there, it felt like we were little more than strangers.
Like my 5 year old daughter, I am a social butterfly. I am happiest around people. But I'm not into shallow relationships. I'm terrible at small talk. I love having deep, meaningful, philosophical conversations. Except that the friends I feel most connected to emotionally, are the farthest away geographically. This leads to a weird sort of manic depressive social life. During the week, when I am mostly by myself with just the children, I feel very much like Moses wandering around in the my own personal desert. On the weekends, when I participate in church stuff (our church being over 20 miles away) I feel all happy and excited and part of the group. And on a few rare, golden occasions, I get to see some of those really good friends who live even farther away.
I haven't figured out how to manage this state of affairs in my brain. I can't spend my whole week looking forward to my Friday prayer meeting or my set design work at church. But I get more and more frustrated just puttering around the house doing my chores in isolation. I've had some really long talks with God about this whole situation. I've tried Brother Lawrence's practicing the Presence of God. Unfortunately I'm not very good at this yet.
It made me ponder further, am I really missing something tangible (like the PA countryside) or something intangible (the places I've felt closest to God). One is very obviously still there, changing daily with the winds of Progress. The other exists only in my memory. Do I feel less connected to society around me because IT has changed, or because I have? If I moved back to some random part of Pennsylvania, would it feel any more like home? You know the old saying, "wherever you go, there you are" - well, I know I have changed a lot in the past 10 years. Those changes go with me wherever I go.
Perhaps it is simply a part of (what, as a Christian I believe is) picking up my cross daily, and sharing in the sufferings of Christ. Perhaps my cross is to share in the loneliness and isolation that Jesus must have felt, living among those who never truly understood Him. Perhaps these are my own desert wanderings. Or maybe, just maybe, I am beginning to feel the true reality of my situation as a follower of Christ as set forth in Hebrews 13:14
"For here have we no continuing city, but we seek one to come."
Guess it's a good thing I like camping...
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Your mission, should you choose to accept it...
Lately, God has asked me to do a lot of kooky things. But, knowing me as well as He does, He usually filters them through my friend Dorothy, from whom I'll believe anything. D and I are in ministry together. We're a team, though we have no official designation. I'm the Elisha to her Elijah. If I have a title, it would have to be Dorothy's Right Arm. God gives her these wonderful mind-blowing ideas for cutting edge, experiential worship. She's the forest thinker. I, for some reason known only to God, have the ability to help her flesh these ideas out into the nuts and bolts needed to actually get it done. I'm the tree thinker, I'm good with details.
This week, my assignment is boxes - specifically, wrapping a bunch of empty boxes to use as fake "presents" for our upcoming Christmas drama set. Sometimes, it's a good thing to be a saver - I happened to have enough boxes lying around my house and didn't have to go out box hunting (similar to fox hunting, without the gun). See, God knows if He said, "this week I really need you to go forth and wrap some boxes" I would say, "Excuse me? What?"
In the year or so that D and I have served together in ministry at our current church I have found myself doing the following:
1. Making a life size mirror frame and being a mime "reflection" on stage.
2. Making a giant heart out of red cloth and pool noodles.
3. Spent an afternoon researching scent diffusers (and doing lots of "sniff" tests to weed out obnoxious or allergy provoking scents.)
4. Carting around big pieces of cardboard for our cardboard testimony service.
5. Measuring giant lengths of cloth using D's garage floor marked off as a measure and then cataloguing and wrapping them onto bolts.
6. Teetering precariously from the top of a 15 ft. ladder pinning various sorts of cloth all around the stage area.
7. Carrying all sorts of miscellaneous set design accoutrements in my purse and pockets - safety pins, tape, gaffers clips.
8. Spent an afternoon discussing the logistics of making bread in a bread machine and how to time it for communion.
9. Spent countless hours researching such things as stage light gels, stage flat foam, and flannel board figures.
10. Created a giant life-size flannel board for Easter service.
I'm sure I've forgotten some, but those are the most memorable ones that spring to mind. It's funny and amazing how God has found me a niche that only I can fill. I've always been a Jill-of-all-trades (or, as I like to put it, a Renaissance woman). Like my dad, I know a little bit about a lot of stuff, and I'm good at researching what I don't know. I'm not an artist, per se, but I have enough creative/artistic ability to manage in many different areas. I can draw some, paint some, sew some, craft some, fix some. I have a working knowledge of carpentry and have learned how to jeri-rig most anything (from the Fix It Master, my husband). And what I don't know how to do I can learn pretty quickly.
Who but God would have designed this crazy ministry position for me? We have an actual group; we call ourselves the pPod (because many of us are a "P" on the Myers-Briggs) but really my ministry is to be Dorothy's assistant/right arm/tree detail person/researcher. I'm sort of an adjunct part of the creative team, but not exactly.
I don't even really know what I'm doing. I'm making it up as I go along. But since Dorothy says she is too, I guess that's okay. I worry sometimes that what I'm doing is not significant (in the big picture). I mean, I'm not helping orphans in Russia or treating AIDS patients in Africa. But as I was driving along praying about this God whispered in my ear that perhaps I might encourage or open the door for God to speak to those who will. Hmmm. Food for thought.
In the meantime, I have some boxes to wrap.
This week, my assignment is boxes - specifically, wrapping a bunch of empty boxes to use as fake "presents" for our upcoming Christmas drama set. Sometimes, it's a good thing to be a saver - I happened to have enough boxes lying around my house and didn't have to go out box hunting (similar to fox hunting, without the gun). See, God knows if He said, "this week I really need you to go forth and wrap some boxes" I would say, "Excuse me? What?"
In the year or so that D and I have served together in ministry at our current church I have found myself doing the following:
1. Making a life size mirror frame and being a mime "reflection" on stage.
2. Making a giant heart out of red cloth and pool noodles.
3. Spent an afternoon researching scent diffusers (and doing lots of "sniff" tests to weed out obnoxious or allergy provoking scents.)
4. Carting around big pieces of cardboard for our cardboard testimony service.
5. Measuring giant lengths of cloth using D's garage floor marked off as a measure and then cataloguing and wrapping them onto bolts.
6. Teetering precariously from the top of a 15 ft. ladder pinning various sorts of cloth all around the stage area.
7. Carrying all sorts of miscellaneous set design accoutrements in my purse and pockets - safety pins, tape, gaffers clips.
8. Spent an afternoon discussing the logistics of making bread in a bread machine and how to time it for communion.
9. Spent countless hours researching such things as stage light gels, stage flat foam, and flannel board figures.
10. Created a giant life-size flannel board for Easter service.
I'm sure I've forgotten some, but those are the most memorable ones that spring to mind. It's funny and amazing how God has found me a niche that only I can fill. I've always been a Jill-of-all-trades (or, as I like to put it, a Renaissance woman). Like my dad, I know a little bit about a lot of stuff, and I'm good at researching what I don't know. I'm not an artist, per se, but I have enough creative/artistic ability to manage in many different areas. I can draw some, paint some, sew some, craft some, fix some. I have a working knowledge of carpentry and have learned how to jeri-rig most anything (from the Fix It Master, my husband). And what I don't know how to do I can learn pretty quickly.
Who but God would have designed this crazy ministry position for me? We have an actual group; we call ourselves the pPod (because many of us are a "P" on the Myers-Briggs) but really my ministry is to be Dorothy's assistant/right arm/tree detail person/researcher. I'm sort of an adjunct part of the creative team, but not exactly.
I don't even really know what I'm doing. I'm making it up as I go along. But since Dorothy says she is too, I guess that's okay. I worry sometimes that what I'm doing is not significant (in the big picture). I mean, I'm not helping orphans in Russia or treating AIDS patients in Africa. But as I was driving along praying about this God whispered in my ear that perhaps I might encourage or open the door for God to speak to those who will. Hmmm. Food for thought.
In the meantime, I have some boxes to wrap.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
A funny thing happened on the way to Supertarget
I saw a sign that I wanted to send in to the guy who does the Crummy Church Signs website. Posted on the sign of one of Manassas' most prominent churches was the following:
SUNDAY
HUMILITY
8:30 and 11:00AM TRADITIONAL
9:30AM CONTEMPORARY
I kid you not.
I laughed hysterically to myself as I drove. I'm sure the drivers around me thought I'd flipped my lid.
But often I find God sends a lesson couched in a laugh. It occurred to me it might be worth pondering Traditional vs. Contemporary Humility. What do you think?
SUNDAY
HUMILITY
8:30 and 11:00AM TRADITIONAL
9:30AM CONTEMPORARY
I kid you not.
I laughed hysterically to myself as I drove. I'm sure the drivers around me thought I'd flipped my lid.
But often I find God sends a lesson couched in a laugh. It occurred to me it might be worth pondering Traditional vs. Contemporary Humility. What do you think?
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Ponderings and busywork
What an odd day it's been. First, I got up really early (like 5:30 am early) in the hope that maybe if I got ME up early I could manage to get the KIDS up early. It sort of worked , but not quite how I'd planned. Charlotte woke up with me (because she has this habit of sneaking into our bed after we're asleep, and no I suppose we shouldn't let her do it, but we're ASLEEP when it happens). Anyway, so I had to be in "mom mode" immediately, which I hadn't quite planned on. but we got her dressed, I fixed her a nice oatmeal breakfast, and she played happily till it was time to go out the door. Chris still had to be hoisted out of bed. This is the kid who's up at 7am on a Saturday, go figure. He gets ready with slightly less angst than usual and STILL manages to dawdle over breakfast even though he's got 30 minutes more time than he normally does. So all is looking pretty good, we all get in the car (yes, we take the car to the bus stop in winter because it at least keeps the baby out of the wind or rain - also corrals the older two). and Chris pitches a fit because today HIS bus arrives first instead of his sister's. Like I have control over the bus schedule - sheesh.
Had a normal morning once I got home - fed the cat, fed the boy, got caffeine fix, checked email and blogs, fed self. About 10:30am I realize that if I'm going to do the dreaded Walmart run I need to get ready so I toss myself through the shower (since I've decided it makes more sense to wait these days). It's nice to not have to rush, and the hot water helps soothe the muscles that work harder everyday to tote a growing toddler in, out, up, and down everything. So I get out, expecting to dash off and do my thing, but my body has other ideas. It says to me "Hey! We got up at 5:30 this morning and you only got 6 hours of sleep - we need a break!" Which normally I would ignore, toss more coffee down my gullet, and soldier on. But after the past two days of struggle with cranky kids and a winter concert and a Girl Scout investiture and extra errands I decided my body had the right of it today. Since the little boy was safely tucked up in his room with his toys, I snuggled back down into my flannel sheets and dozed.
While I was lying there, I thought about how everyone talks about "resting in God". And not for the first time wondered if maybe that could sometimes be taken literally. Maybe it's kind of like what they tell you in the emergency airline instructions - you know, putting your own oxygen mask on before helping someone else? Maybe resting in God isn't only about the spiritual. Maybe it's okay if we rest our tired bodies and souls too. Maybe I don't have to operate at the breakneck pace some other moms I know do - I learned a while ago that I am not Supermom - nor do I want to be. Maybe it glorifies God more to be a happier healthier mommy who doesn't feel like she's on her last nerve, rather than a mommy who Gets It All Done.
Maybe it's okay to listen to the natural rhythms of my body - even when they don't make sense to anyone else. And really, if the Word became flesh to dwell among us - doesn't Jesus already know how tired and sore these frail bodies can get, since He spent so much time going around healing them?
Well, anyway - 20 minutes later I felt MUCH more ready to tackle Walmart during the Christmas season. And that's worth it right there.
Had a normal morning once I got home - fed the cat, fed the boy, got caffeine fix, checked email and blogs, fed self. About 10:30am I realize that if I'm going to do the dreaded Walmart run I need to get ready so I toss myself through the shower (since I've decided it makes more sense to wait these days). It's nice to not have to rush, and the hot water helps soothe the muscles that work harder everyday to tote a growing toddler in, out, up, and down everything. So I get out, expecting to dash off and do my thing, but my body has other ideas. It says to me "Hey! We got up at 5:30 this morning and you only got 6 hours of sleep - we need a break!" Which normally I would ignore, toss more coffee down my gullet, and soldier on. But after the past two days of struggle with cranky kids and a winter concert and a Girl Scout investiture and extra errands I decided my body had the right of it today. Since the little boy was safely tucked up in his room with his toys, I snuggled back down into my flannel sheets and dozed.
While I was lying there, I thought about how everyone talks about "resting in God". And not for the first time wondered if maybe that could sometimes be taken literally. Maybe it's kind of like what they tell you in the emergency airline instructions - you know, putting your own oxygen mask on before helping someone else? Maybe resting in God isn't only about the spiritual. Maybe it's okay if we rest our tired bodies and souls too. Maybe I don't have to operate at the breakneck pace some other moms I know do - I learned a while ago that I am not Supermom - nor do I want to be. Maybe it glorifies God more to be a happier healthier mommy who doesn't feel like she's on her last nerve, rather than a mommy who Gets It All Done.
Maybe it's okay to listen to the natural rhythms of my body - even when they don't make sense to anyone else. And really, if the Word became flesh to dwell among us - doesn't Jesus already know how tired and sore these frail bodies can get, since He spent so much time going around healing them?
Well, anyway - 20 minutes later I felt MUCH more ready to tackle Walmart during the Christmas season. And that's worth it right there.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
In need of a change
There's got to be a better way. I just haven't figured it out yet.
I've got a few personal puzzles rambling around in my brain in need of a solution. This morning was awful, and something's got to give before I go crazy(er). I haven't any solution yet, but these are the main conundrums I've been pondering in the last week or two:
1. I need a new morning routine. The old one (before Charlotte was in kindergarten) just flat out does...not....work....anymore. I keep assuming if the kids get enough sleep they'll bounce out of bed and get ready for school with little or no prodding. Ha....ha. For the past 3 nights I've tried to make sure everyone was in bed early. Last night everyone but Brian was in bed by 9:30 - including me. Didn't. Make. One. Bit. Of difference. Grrrr. In fact, it was worse. I'm not sure what's behind it but Chris has taken a sudden turn of Stubborn on and I'm tired of having to oversee the putting on of EACH piece of clothing, the finishing of EVERY before school task. I don't know if the solution is his own personal schedule, a new alarm clock (that actually wakes him up), an earlier wake-up time, or a cattle prod but if I have one more send-off like this morning I'll be looking for that padded room sooner rather than later.
And, oh yeah - morning showers in the winter are less than pointless. After running around getting everyone ready and standing out in the frigid morning air for 20 minutes at the bus stop with a hood (or 2) clamped over my head I may as well not have bothered - 1/2 hour saved on morning routine.
2. Somehow, some way I am not going to fall into the Christmas Craziness trap. I'm not sure how, but there has got to be a way to simplify. I did start my shopping back in the fall, so I'm about half done. I'd also like to avoid the overspending thing. I always expect too much of myself in this department. Maybe this could be the year I concentrate on the traditions that are really meaningful to me and my family and skip the rest.....for real, this year.
3. I need at least a temporary solution to the cognitive dissonance I've been feeling over our church situation. I find I've really been missing many of the beautiful liturgical things that traditional churches do this time of year (Advent wreath lighting, classical Christmas music, Christmas pageants for the children, Christmas carols, etc.) And yet I know that after a few weeks in a traditional church I will feel bored, stuck, and busy. Maybe I should go get a Book of Common Prayer and dig out the hymnbooks and create my own Advent services for the family at home. One more thing for Mom to do, but maybe it will satisfy this spiritual itch that's been plaguing me.
4. My 3 children are very different from each other and have recently been showing me that they have 3 very different sets of needs. I need a new plan to balance this and I'm not sure what it is. My oldest, Chris, has a lot more homework as a 3rd grader and is getting more stubborn about doing it on his own. I spend more time prodding him along than I used to, which means less time with my other two.
Charlotte, in kindergarten, after a long day of holding in her huge energy supply, wants to bounce around and talk to anything that moves (and even anything that doesn't). Which drives the one trying to avoid the homework crazy.
Connor, the 2 year old, also has an abundant energy supply - but he prefers to use it to climb things. Since he's nosy too, many times he chooses to climb all over his brother to find out what he's doing, which also drives Chris crazy.
The hard thing with autism is it's nearly impossible to untangle what is normal 3rd grade behavior and what is the autism. How much does Chris have control over, and what is beyond his control? What do I do when none of the discipline I've used over the past few months puts a stop to his enormously bad attitude?
Anyway, I'm going to make a point to stop doing things mindlessly that no longer work, and work on trying to find something that does. I need to keep in mind that other people's expectations for family life, Christmas celebration, child management, and my spiritual life don't matter. Ultimately, I play to an audience of One. Maybe I can remember that this Christmas season...
I've got a few personal puzzles rambling around in my brain in need of a solution. This morning was awful, and something's got to give before I go crazy(er). I haven't any solution yet, but these are the main conundrums I've been pondering in the last week or two:
1. I need a new morning routine. The old one (before Charlotte was in kindergarten) just flat out does...not....work....anymore. I keep assuming if the kids get enough sleep they'll bounce out of bed and get ready for school with little or no prodding. Ha....ha. For the past 3 nights I've tried to make sure everyone was in bed early. Last night everyone but Brian was in bed by 9:30 - including me. Didn't. Make. One. Bit. Of difference. Grrrr. In fact, it was worse. I'm not sure what's behind it but Chris has taken a sudden turn of Stubborn on and I'm tired of having to oversee the putting on of EACH piece of clothing, the finishing of EVERY before school task. I don't know if the solution is his own personal schedule, a new alarm clock (that actually wakes him up), an earlier wake-up time, or a cattle prod but if I have one more send-off like this morning I'll be looking for that padded room sooner rather than later.
And, oh yeah - morning showers in the winter are less than pointless. After running around getting everyone ready and standing out in the frigid morning air for 20 minutes at the bus stop with a hood (or 2) clamped over my head I may as well not have bothered - 1/2 hour saved on morning routine.
2. Somehow, some way I am not going to fall into the Christmas Craziness trap. I'm not sure how, but there has got to be a way to simplify. I did start my shopping back in the fall, so I'm about half done. I'd also like to avoid the overspending thing. I always expect too much of myself in this department. Maybe this could be the year I concentrate on the traditions that are really meaningful to me and my family and skip the rest.....for real, this year.
3. I need at least a temporary solution to the cognitive dissonance I've been feeling over our church situation. I find I've really been missing many of the beautiful liturgical things that traditional churches do this time of year (Advent wreath lighting, classical Christmas music, Christmas pageants for the children, Christmas carols, etc.) And yet I know that after a few weeks in a traditional church I will feel bored, stuck, and busy. Maybe I should go get a Book of Common Prayer and dig out the hymnbooks and create my own Advent services for the family at home. One more thing for Mom to do, but maybe it will satisfy this spiritual itch that's been plaguing me.
4. My 3 children are very different from each other and have recently been showing me that they have 3 very different sets of needs. I need a new plan to balance this and I'm not sure what it is. My oldest, Chris, has a lot more homework as a 3rd grader and is getting more stubborn about doing it on his own. I spend more time prodding him along than I used to, which means less time with my other two.
Charlotte, in kindergarten, after a long day of holding in her huge energy supply, wants to bounce around and talk to anything that moves (and even anything that doesn't). Which drives the one trying to avoid the homework crazy.
Connor, the 2 year old, also has an abundant energy supply - but he prefers to use it to climb things. Since he's nosy too, many times he chooses to climb all over his brother to find out what he's doing, which also drives Chris crazy.
The hard thing with autism is it's nearly impossible to untangle what is normal 3rd grade behavior and what is the autism. How much does Chris have control over, and what is beyond his control? What do I do when none of the discipline I've used over the past few months puts a stop to his enormously bad attitude?
Anyway, I'm going to make a point to stop doing things mindlessly that no longer work, and work on trying to find something that does. I need to keep in mind that other people's expectations for family life, Christmas celebration, child management, and my spiritual life don't matter. Ultimately, I play to an audience of One. Maybe I can remember that this Christmas season...
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
In search of a saner Christmas
So we got back from our Thanksgiving holiday visit and got to hit the ground running. Christopher's 3rd grade holiday concert was scheduled for last night. That's right - the very day after Thanksgiving break. It took quite of bit of planning, scheduling, and goading children to get us all there in time. We made it, and it was good. But it got me thinking about the whole Christmas season in general.
I confess that the bigger and glitzier the commercial end of Christmas gets every year, the more I feel like crawling into a hole and hiding. I never understood those people who schedule a holiday cruise or trip to the tropics until recently. I loved the Christmas season as a child. All the decorating, baking, singing, gift buying, present wrapping, church pageants, Christmas music - the whole nine yards - loved every minute of it.
I do still love it - but it's different now that I'm in charge of it. My mom had just me, and by the time I was maybe 6 or 7 years old, I helped her. I've got 3 kids and a kitty. Even though my oldest 2 are technically old enough to help (and have, some) it's still quite the 3 ring circus trying to concentrate on Christmas preparations and keep the toddler and the kitty out of everything.
Even if I do get all the physical Christmas preparation done, I find that I've been missing the heart preparations. I have very little time to sit and drink in the significance of Christmas - the fact that God chose to come to Earth, to live among us as a man, to be born of a simple Jewish peasant girl and grow up in humble circumstances, to sacrifice His life for me on a rugged Roman cross, and to triumph over the powers of evil by rising from the dead. Emmanuel, God with us.
Then too there is the fact that Christ was not born on December 25th. Historians and theologians have placed the actual birth of Christ sometime around September (around the time of the Jewish Feast of Tabernacles and the Day of Atonement.) Which, symbolically, would make sense. Since Jesus knew that He would become the fulfillment of the Passover lamb by being crucified during the Passover, it makes sense that He would be born during the time the Jews celebrated the time of God's tabernacling (residing with) mankind.
Even though I know that the celebration of Christ's birth was moved to December 25th to try to draw in the pagans (who celebrated the winter solstice and the feast of Saturnalia around that time) I like the idea of celebrating the return of the light (sunlight) and the Light. I think we need to celebrate both. I find it very satisfying and I know I wouldn't make such a herculean effort without the force of tradition behind it.
But this year I would like to look deeper inside myself, deeper into the word of God, to rediscover the Word of God, who was in the beginning - for Whom everything was made, and without Whom nothing that has been made would have been made.
I confess that the bigger and glitzier the commercial end of Christmas gets every year, the more I feel like crawling into a hole and hiding. I never understood those people who schedule a holiday cruise or trip to the tropics until recently. I loved the Christmas season as a child. All the decorating, baking, singing, gift buying, present wrapping, church pageants, Christmas music - the whole nine yards - loved every minute of it.
I do still love it - but it's different now that I'm in charge of it. My mom had just me, and by the time I was maybe 6 or 7 years old, I helped her. I've got 3 kids and a kitty. Even though my oldest 2 are technically old enough to help (and have, some) it's still quite the 3 ring circus trying to concentrate on Christmas preparations and keep the toddler and the kitty out of everything.
Even if I do get all the physical Christmas preparation done, I find that I've been missing the heart preparations. I have very little time to sit and drink in the significance of Christmas - the fact that God chose to come to Earth, to live among us as a man, to be born of a simple Jewish peasant girl and grow up in humble circumstances, to sacrifice His life for me on a rugged Roman cross, and to triumph over the powers of evil by rising from the dead. Emmanuel, God with us.
Then too there is the fact that Christ was not born on December 25th. Historians and theologians have placed the actual birth of Christ sometime around September (around the time of the Jewish Feast of Tabernacles and the Day of Atonement.) Which, symbolically, would make sense. Since Jesus knew that He would become the fulfillment of the Passover lamb by being crucified during the Passover, it makes sense that He would be born during the time the Jews celebrated the time of God's tabernacling (residing with) mankind.
Even though I know that the celebration of Christ's birth was moved to December 25th to try to draw in the pagans (who celebrated the winter solstice and the feast of Saturnalia around that time) I like the idea of celebrating the return of the light (sunlight) and the Light. I think we need to celebrate both. I find it very satisfying and I know I wouldn't make such a herculean effort without the force of tradition behind it.
But this year I would like to look deeper inside myself, deeper into the word of God, to rediscover the Word of God, who was in the beginning - for Whom everything was made, and without Whom nothing that has been made would have been made.
Monday, November 24, 2008
When my own words fail
Sometimes somebody else's words express how I'm feeling far better than I can. Sometimes God leads me to those words at the strangest times in the oddest ways.
"Midway along the journey of our life
I woke to find myself in a dark wood,
for I had wandered off from the straight path.
How hard it is to tell what it was like,
this wood of wilderness, savage and stubborn
(the thought of it brings back all my old fears),
a bitter place! Death could scarce be bitterer.
But if I would show the good that came of it
I must talk about things other than the good.
How I entered there I cannot truly say,
I had become so sleepy at the moment
when I first strayed, leaving the path of truth;"
For those of you, like I, who did not read this in high school, those are the opening words of Dante's Inferno. I was at the library on Saturday, with my 5 year old daughter in tow (because she pulled a drama queen face and begged to come with me). I was trying to hurry, because I knew she would stay put at the children's activity table for only so long. After refilling my quota of novels for the week, on a whim I wandered over to the poetry section. I found the Rumi book I went for, and then my eyes landed on Dante. Lately I've had a desire to read some of the classics we, for whatever reason, were not required to read in high school. I grabbed the book along with the rest of my stack and dashed back to where Charlotte was happily working a puzzle. I figured I could peruse my books for a few minutes while she played.
Being curious, I opened up the Dante, and read those opening words. And nearly slid through the floor in shock. A 13th century poet had just given me an existential punch in the gut. Wow. Well, it's good to know that my spiritual angst is not just a product of the times I live in, but a product of the human condition.
I've been coming to the gradual realization that I am tired of being a "human do-ing" and want to be a "human be-ing" again. The past couple weekends I've been on a forced hiatus from church. Due mostly to illness in the family, company, and general worn out-ed-ness, we haven't been in church the past few Sundays. Yesterday I came to the startling realization that I felt much calmer and more at peace with myself and my family than I have in months. I began thinking about what that said about my church experience in particular and American Christianity in general.
I got to spend a hour or so reading my Bible and praying/meditating in private, then relaxed with my family. After dinner I was able to get started on some laundry so as to not be behind all week in holiday preparations. What a lovely, relaxed day it was.
It made me start to wonder if many American Christians aren't going about the whole concept of "church" the wrong way. Why is it, no matter what church you belong to, no matter which denomination you find yourself in - as soon as you offer up your gifts and talents to serve the body of Christ, you find yourself stressed out and overcommitted? Where did we lose the concept of balance? How can we "be still and know" that He is God when we're not even allowed to be still? Why does it seem the church is just as guilty of this as the world we claim to be separate from? Why is so much extra "stuff" laid on top of Jesus' simple command to "Come, follow Me"?
In those rare moments when I am alone with just my own thoughts and God, I keep thinking, "Is this all there is?" Is all there is being permanently stuck in fast forward being busy for the Kingdom? What happened to "Come unto Me all who are weary and I will give you rest"?
And most disturbing of all, why does it seem that I am the only one who is bothered by this? Why am I the only who is tired of all the pomp and circumstance that the modern church has become?
I want to be like Mary, and simply go sit at Jesus' feet - and listen.
"Midway along the journey of our life
I woke to find myself in a dark wood,
for I had wandered off from the straight path.
How hard it is to tell what it was like,
this wood of wilderness, savage and stubborn
(the thought of it brings back all my old fears),
a bitter place! Death could scarce be bitterer.
But if I would show the good that came of it
I must talk about things other than the good.
How I entered there I cannot truly say,
I had become so sleepy at the moment
when I first strayed, leaving the path of truth;"
For those of you, like I, who did not read this in high school, those are the opening words of Dante's Inferno. I was at the library on Saturday, with my 5 year old daughter in tow (because she pulled a drama queen face and begged to come with me). I was trying to hurry, because I knew she would stay put at the children's activity table for only so long. After refilling my quota of novels for the week, on a whim I wandered over to the poetry section. I found the Rumi book I went for, and then my eyes landed on Dante. Lately I've had a desire to read some of the classics we, for whatever reason, were not required to read in high school. I grabbed the book along with the rest of my stack and dashed back to where Charlotte was happily working a puzzle. I figured I could peruse my books for a few minutes while she played.
Being curious, I opened up the Dante, and read those opening words. And nearly slid through the floor in shock. A 13th century poet had just given me an existential punch in the gut. Wow. Well, it's good to know that my spiritual angst is not just a product of the times I live in, but a product of the human condition.
I've been coming to the gradual realization that I am tired of being a "human do-ing" and want to be a "human be-ing" again. The past couple weekends I've been on a forced hiatus from church. Due mostly to illness in the family, company, and general worn out-ed-ness, we haven't been in church the past few Sundays. Yesterday I came to the startling realization that I felt much calmer and more at peace with myself and my family than I have in months. I began thinking about what that said about my church experience in particular and American Christianity in general.
I got to spend a hour or so reading my Bible and praying/meditating in private, then relaxed with my family. After dinner I was able to get started on some laundry so as to not be behind all week in holiday preparations. What a lovely, relaxed day it was.
It made me start to wonder if many American Christians aren't going about the whole concept of "church" the wrong way. Why is it, no matter what church you belong to, no matter which denomination you find yourself in - as soon as you offer up your gifts and talents to serve the body of Christ, you find yourself stressed out and overcommitted? Where did we lose the concept of balance? How can we "be still and know" that He is God when we're not even allowed to be still? Why does it seem the church is just as guilty of this as the world we claim to be separate from? Why is so much extra "stuff" laid on top of Jesus' simple command to "Come, follow Me"?
In those rare moments when I am alone with just my own thoughts and God, I keep thinking, "Is this all there is?" Is all there is being permanently stuck in fast forward being busy for the Kingdom? What happened to "Come unto Me all who are weary and I will give you rest"?
And most disturbing of all, why does it seem that I am the only one who is bothered by this? Why am I the only who is tired of all the pomp and circumstance that the modern church has become?
I want to be like Mary, and simply go sit at Jesus' feet - and listen.
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