In need of a change

There's got to be a better way. I just haven't figured it out yet.

I've got a few personal puzzles rambling around in my brain in need of a solution. This morning was awful, and something's got to give before I go crazy(er). I haven't any solution yet, but these are the main conundrums I've been pondering in the last week or two:

1. I need a new morning routine. The old one (before Charlotte was in kindergarten) just flat out does...not....work....anymore. I keep assuming if the kids get enough sleep they'll bounce out of bed and get ready for school with little or no prodding. Ha....ha. For the past 3 nights I've tried to make sure everyone was in bed early. Last night everyone but Brian was in bed by 9:30 - including me. Didn't. Make. One. Bit. Of difference. Grrrr. In fact, it was worse. I'm not sure what's behind it but Chris has taken a sudden turn of Stubborn on and I'm tired of having to oversee the putting on of EACH piece of clothing, the finishing of EVERY before school task. I don't know if the solution is his own personal schedule, a new alarm clock (that actually wakes him up), an earlier wake-up time, or a cattle prod but if I have one more send-off like this morning I'll be looking for that padded room sooner rather than later.

And, oh yeah - morning showers in the winter are less than pointless. After running around getting everyone ready and standing out in the frigid morning air for 20 minutes at the bus stop with a hood (or 2) clamped over my head I may as well not have bothered - 1/2 hour saved on morning routine.

2. Somehow, some way I am not going to fall into the Christmas Craziness trap. I'm not sure how, but there has got to be a way to simplify. I did start my shopping back in the fall, so I'm about half done. I'd also like to avoid the overspending thing. I always expect too much of myself in this department. Maybe this could be the year I concentrate on the traditions that are really meaningful to me and my family and skip the rest.....for real, this year.

3. I need at least a temporary solution to the cognitive dissonance I've been feeling over our church situation. I find I've really been missing many of the beautiful liturgical things that traditional churches do this time of year (Advent wreath lighting, classical Christmas music, Christmas pageants for the children, Christmas carols, etc.) And yet I know that after a few weeks in a traditional church I will feel bored, stuck, and busy. Maybe I should go get a Book of Common Prayer and dig out the hymnbooks and create my own Advent services for the family at home. One more thing for Mom to do, but maybe it will satisfy this spiritual itch that's been plaguing me.

4. My 3 children are very different from each other and have recently been showing me that they have 3 very different sets of needs. I need a new plan to balance this and I'm not sure what it is. My oldest, Chris, has a lot more homework as a 3rd grader and is getting more stubborn about doing it on his own. I spend more time prodding him along than I used to, which means less time with my other two.

Charlotte, in kindergarten, after a long day of holding in her huge energy supply, wants to bounce around and talk to anything that moves (and even anything that doesn't). Which drives the one trying to avoid the homework crazy.

Connor, the 2 year old, also has an abundant energy supply - but he prefers to use it to climb things. Since he's nosy too, many times he chooses to climb all over his brother to find out what he's doing, which also drives Chris crazy.

The hard thing with autism is it's nearly impossible to untangle what is normal 3rd grade behavior and what is the autism. How much does Chris have control over, and what is beyond his control? What do I do when none of the discipline I've used over the past few months puts a stop to his enormously bad attitude?

Anyway, I'm going to make a point to stop doing things mindlessly that no longer work, and work on trying to find something that does. I need to keep in mind that other people's expectations for family life, Christmas celebration, child management, and my spiritual life don't matter. Ultimately, I play to an audience of One. Maybe I can remember that this Christmas season...