Back at the end of March of this year I was at a leader's retreat at church. On Saturday morning, between the time of finishing breakfast and the start of the first session, a bunch of us were standing loosely congregated around the worship musicians' corner of the room. We were chatting and randomly tossing out songs and having a fun time with some totally spontaneous worship. One of the gals tossed out a song called "God of This City" by Bluetree. If you listen to any Christian radio in America you've heard it, probably ad nauseum by this point. At the time I had heard the song on the radio, but did not even know it well enough to know the words to the chorus. I realized that I really liked the tune, though, and promised myself to pay better attention the next time I heard it on the radio.
Well, long story short I liked it so well that when I happened upon the group's album on sale for $5 I snapped it up (even though I rarely do this when I only know one song). I generally like to listen to a new CD on the regular stereo, but it was a very busy day/week/season of my life so I popped it onto my iPod, which I like to wear when I do boring jobs like folding laundry. One evening, as I was folding said laundry, while Brian finished up the kids' bath I was listening to the album. Now, understand I had *already* listened to it at least 3 or 4 times. As I was working, I noticed at one point that I was hearing an instrumental version of the theme of the title song - huh, that's funny, where is that on the album? It was so beautiful, a lovely piano theme and variations. How could I have missed it? I'd listened to the album while doing other stuff each time and I hadn't noticed it before. I zipped around the songs, confused that I couldn't find it again. Put it back at the beginning and tried to pay better attention this time.
What I discovered, such a small thing, became a huge epiphany in my life. This beautiful instrumental piece that I found so lovely and haunting? It was the ending part of the title song! I'm sure that the song gets cut off when they play it on the radio because it's a logical place to do so, they have time constraints, and most people want to hear the part with the singing. But the fact that I'd listened to it at least 4 times before (maybe more, because I liked it) and never noticed that part, never even noticed it was part of the song - well - picture a little light bulb over top of my head.
I put the song on again, and stopped to listen quite deliberately this time. Sure enough, at 4 min. 55 sec. there is a fadeout and pause from the main song, the place where it ends on the radio. You think the song is over, then at 4:56 it comes back in with this gorgeous piano instrumental version of the theme. It's delicate, lovely, and haunting - the deep ending chords resonated in my soul. I took my ear buds out and sat there stunned. This song is like my life - I missed the most beautiful part of the song because I was busy and not really paying attention.
How much of my LIFE had I been missing lately by being busy and not paying attention? It was quite a wake-up call, and that one tiny moment would become a turning point in my life. It was when I realized I was tired of the human do-ing and wanted to be a human be-ing again.
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