What kind of light are you?

"You are the light of the world." Matthew 5:14

Quick - what's the first image that pops into your head as you read that? I'm only guessing, but for me it's always the same image - the kind of lamp perhaps that would have been used in the first century (you know, like the kind Jesus mentions with the wise and foolish bridesmaids?)

But during a really low point in my dark musings recently, I was pondering this passage, asking God to (ha ha) shed some new light on it. I myself was feeling rather like a match just before it sputters and goes out - not much good to anybody, least of all myself. However, since I had made the decision to simply sit at Jesus feet and let Him hold me, I let go of my usual associations with the passage and just let my mind focus on God.

Instead of trying to wrap my mind around the Light, or being light to others - I simply pondered light, and lights and their function.

It suddenly occurred to me that Jesus did *not* say that we were supposed to be any particular *kind* of light - just that we were to be light. Well, in our house we have all different types of lights - and they all serve their own unique purpose. Some of them can be substituted one for the other (like an overhead light for a table lamp or vice versa) pretty easily. Some have very particular uses, like my husband's heavy duty work light. And some are used less often but there really is no substitute for them. Like a flashlight. I'd look pretty silly hauling a table lamp out the door on an extension cord to look for something in my car trunk at midnight. And if the power goes out? Well, then flashlights or candles are your only option - and mighty necessary they are especially if one has small children.

I think I've been suffering from an acute case of "light identity crisis". God has blessed me with some amazingly brilliant friends. One friend, a natural born evangelist, has a passion for sharing God with the lost and disenfranchised. Her light is like a searchlight - a burning beacon calling broken and hurting people back to God. Another friend, a worship leader - her light is like those flashy club lights or fun Chinese party lanterns (or anything with bling). She brings the party with her when she walks into a room (and being a musician, she brings the band too!) A dear friend who's been a pastor these past 10 years or so - well, she's one of those "We'll leave the light on for ya!" kind of people. Like one of those pretty lamps people light to shine out their kitchen or living room window when they know that someone's coming home late. Always there to welcome you home, no matter how long and tiring your journey's been.

Since form follows function, I wondered if I've been asking myself the wrong question these past few years. Instead of praying for God to show me *how* I should shine - perhaps I would be better off asking *where* I should shine. After all, a flashlight is not necessary in a well lit house. But in the middle of the woods when you're camping? Well, let's just say one year we took a camping trip and realized after we got there that we only had one small flashlight with us (the one kept in the car) and leave it at that.

What kind of light am I anyway? Not a searchlight, that's for sure. Or party lanterns. Maybe I'm a more specialized sort of light. Maybe I'm a candle in a dark house when the power has gone out, or the mini Maglite that's ever so helpful for rummaging through your tent in the dark for that extra sweatshirt you know you packed.

Perhaps I am meant to shine in darker places than my friends who shine so brilliantly. Perhaps I am the night light left on so someone will not fall down the stairs in the dark. Or the lighted exit sign that points the way out.

Right now I'm just not sure - I need a bit more *illumination* on the subject. Until then, I will spend my time basking in His light, content to recharge.