Thursday, December 17, 2009

Not your (neuro)typical household

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have "normal" kids. Those of you who know me are saying "ha ha" right about now. How normal can kids be who grow up in a house where the parents don't want cable TV, read obsessively, and who have discussions on theoretical physics around the dinner table.

Since it is my oldest who has autism, I have never known what it is like to parent only "normal" children. And I have reason to suspect that even my neurotypical children have leanings towards that end of the brain spectrum. They are all 3 very sensitive to certain foods, over-stimulation, picky clothing tags, uncomfortable fabrics, etc.

What is it like to get children ready for school without having to suddenly clip out a tag, change a shirt for a more comfortable one, not have to worry about sock seams being just right? What is it like to not have to negotiate afternoon peace treaties between 2 over-stimulated kids when one is an autistic introvert and the other is an ADHD-leaning extreme extrovert? What is it like to actually have time to finish one's laundry, housecleaning, grocery shopping, cooking without having to navigate a crisis every 5 minutes? What is it like to have children who actually need the 10 hours of sleep recommended for their ages? What is it like to not feel compelled to discuss personal family matters in stores with strangers so that people don't think your kids are merely being brats? What is it like to not have to wonder every day that some doctor is going to want to force strong medicines on your beautiful child to make them behave in a "normal" fashion in school? What is it like to not have to worry about whether the world will accept your children and their unique gifts?

Most of all, who is it who gets to decide what "normal" is anyway? I wonder....

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

You certainly have your hands full! But I sense that your wild wee ones really *will* become wonderful adults and make you all proud. :)

Normal's overrated. Wouldn't know what to do with a normal person if I ever met one.

Sherry said...

I understand the longing to somehow have less of this more that we have, but the essence of these childre that we love, part of that essence is the moreness. I know I wish it was easier and more normal sometimes too.