Avoiding the Christmas crash

Day after Christmas - presents unwrapped, children cranky and bored, too much rich food eaten, tired and depressed, feels like the flu is coming on. Anyone else experience "Christmas crash"?

In a way, this is all tied in to the spiritual path I find myself on these days. It's December - supposedly "the most wonderful time of the year". A time when the world-at-large tells us we should be "decking the halls" and "rockin' around the Christmas tree". But I imagine I am not the only person who, as merchants and advertisers get louder and more obnoxious each year about hawking their wares - who wishes that the whole commercialized end of the business would disappear for good. Who wonders if perhaps those few unusual folks who book their Caribbean cruise to escape the whole thing have the right idea.

As a little girl, I was crazy about everything Christmas. It was also my Dad's favorite time of the year, so I got to spend extra time with him working on Christmas stuff. But I was an only child, my mom a SAHM, and my dad was home by 6pm every night. And we lived in a small suburb of a small-ish city. Pretty much everything we needed was no more than a 10 minute car ride away.

Fast forward to today - I am a SAHM of 3 children (all school age). My two sons have special needs. My husband, a music/orchestra teacher, has a holiday concert week next week. Four concerts - one each Mon. through Thurs. For us, it will be like he's on a week long business trip. Except he will sleep at home. The oldest celebrates his birthday on Monday, and has his own holiday concert the Monday after. We are a very, very busy family and we live in very, very busy area (metro DC).

I began to realize a few years ago, that if I wanted to keep my health and sanity intact, I needed to pull back from what is "expected" at the holidays. A dear friend compartmentalizes them into Christ-mass (celebration of the Holy) and X-mess (the commercialized end of the season). I know I am not the only one who wonders if we would *all* be better off without the X-mess. I mean really - just think about the many, many things that may be on a person's to-do list at the holidays (and it wouldn't matter much your religious persuasion as the whole country gets caught up in it).

1. Decorating the house
2. Writing holiday cards
3. Buying presents
4. Holiday baking, meal-planning (with accompanying extra trips to grocery store)
5. Holiday photos
6. Parties of all sorts (school, work, social)
7. Holiday performances (for those who sing, play, or dance)
8. Extra charitable work (for scouts or religious organizations)
9. Extra services, programs, and projects for church, temple, etc.
10. Visiting far-flung family (packing to travel, or major cleaning to entertain, or
both!

And....that's just the short list. Add in people with December birthdays, single parent families, a bad economy, traffic snarls, short tempers, skeletons in family closets, and flu season - well, someone ought to make a disaster movie out of the whole thing!

I don't think it matters if you celebrate Christ's birth, Hannukah, Kwanzaa, or the winter solstice. Does any of us really need or want this craziness any more? Am I the only one who finds advertisements for thousand dollar laptops, giant flat screen tv's and cars wearing giant red bows insulting?

Well, regardless of whether anyone else does, I've decided that *I* do. And I'm doing something about - by doing less - a lot less. I'm doing the things that are necessary and important to our family.

For example:

1. I will bake my Grandma's homemade chocolate cake for Chris' birthday, and have a small family celebration. Christmas cookie baking optional.

2. I will not feel guilty about not sending Christmas cards - I don't enjoy doing them, and they take up too much time.

3. Holiday concerts will be attended (and conducted, in Brian's case). It's his paycheck and my son's grade.

4. Church will be attended on Sunday only - no Christmas programs, no choir, no special events - exception made for Christmas Eve (if such service is planned).

5. No holiday over-spending. Cash only, within budget. Extended family will have to live with that.

6. Christmas day meals will consist of Special Holiday Breakfast (usually special egg strata with cinnamon buns or some such) and chicken and waffles for dinner. Get your own lunch. Mom is neither Paula Deen nor Martha Stewart. (And since Mom will be starting holiday packing preparations on Christmas night, Mom needs energy to do so.)

7. Holiday decorations will consist of those things which are easy and make sense. One Christmas tree will be decorated. One door decoration will be hung. All other decorations (outside lights, etc.) are on an optional, as-time-permits basis.

8. Holiday preparations will *not* be made at the expense of sleep, meals, or sanity of either parents or children.

9. Time will be made for quiet reflection and family togetherness.

And, maybe those of us with a religious bent - I can only speak for Christians, but perhaps other have this too - should implore our churches, etc. to not add to the burden. I can't tell you how many years I have spent wearing myself out "in the service of Christ" at the holidays. Choir rehearsals, drama rehearsals, dinners, service projects, toy and clothing drives, Sunday school productions, parties, evangelism outreach, extra services. Countless Christmases (and Easters) I've spent sick and/or with laryngitis from singing 2-3 holiday productions a day. In the service of Christ (or so we say.) Perhaps we (and our neighbors) would be better off if we stopped contributing to the craziness and ministered to our families and the poor and lonely at the holidays - and skipped the glitz and glitter.

Me, I'll be at home, quietly lighting candles and contemplating a Light in the darkness...

Brain cells MIA

Ay yi! There are many pieces of advice people give a new mommy-to-be. Some of them I found helpful. Some of them I did not. I do wish, however, that someone had mentioned I would spend much of my kids' elementary years in a mental fog, wondering where all my brain cells had vanished.

Between never-enough-sleep and way-too-many-things-to-remember-to-do I find myself getting ever more absentminded. Waking up bleary-eyed on a gray, rainy day after a night of broken up vivid dream peppered sleep didn't get me started off well. Zooming around the house sans coffee (fell asleep before setting up the coffee pot) trying to get daughter ready for picture day and little son ready for (possible) field trip I kept stopping mid-stride unable to remember which step in the getting ready process came next.

Managed to make Daughter's bus and Little Son's last bell (he gets driven, bus comes waaay too early for little guy.)

It's ironic, though - to say that organization is not my strong suit is an understatement. I've often referred to myself (or been called by friends) as "the absentminded professor", scatterbrained, bubble-brained, etc. I've had my share of "dumb blonde" moments (a blonde haired friend of mine and I used to share blonde jokes for fun).

And now that I'm MOM.... I get to be...... organizer of everyone! I get to organize four other people, plus myself. With my sleep-deprived, overtaxed brain cells. I swear, Somebody up there is getting a good laugh at my expense most days....

Labels and the road less travelled

Did you ever get the feeling that God (Spirit, the Divine, Life the Universe and Everything - insert personal preference here) was encouraging, pushing, pulling, yanking, tugging you in a direction you not only never thought you'd go, but never thought you *could* go? Almost as if it is going to happen despite (or because of) your best efforts to insure otherwise?

Maybe it's the interface?

Testing the paragraph capabilities here.

Not having paragraphs is annoying and hard to read.

Especially since I write like I think. Don't need to *look* stream-of-consciousness too. Hoping the old interface still recognizes my return key...

Paragraphs? What paragraphs?

Dear Blogger, Someone has stolen my paragraphs. If you see them, please return them as soon as possible. Thank you. Sincerely, Owner of a Run On Paragraph

Playing Catch Up

Wow! Even though summer with 3 kids and hubby home always seems really long while I'm in it, it's gone-in-a-blink. And so, evidently, were all those ideas for posts I had. Hard to find time to type them up when one is constantly washing-to-pack, washing-after-unpacking, and sorting through the ankle-high chaos of 5 people home all summer in a small townhouse. Well, we (mostly) had the summer we wanted. Got to go camping twice, visit friends and family, do lots of lazy day swimming at the pool. Did not make any progress on finishing the basement due to finding out that *that* project is a Commitment. One must draw up suitable blueprints and submit them to the City for Approval. And once Approved, one must provide suitable continuous Evidence of Work Finished. Bleah.....that project will have to wait until we can offer the suitable Commitment to it to make it worth the Hefty Fee that goes along with it. So.... school time has arrived! And all my brain cells are taxed verily to the uttermost with trying to remember and keep straight the details of 3 full time school careers (well, 4, if you count my husband's - I have to plan for his school schedule too). Three sets of paperwork, 3 backpacks, 3 lunches, 3 different bus schedules, 3 sets of Important Dates Not to be Forgotten, 3 sets of school clothes for various weather conditions to be sorted and made ready, etc. The whirlwind in my brain leaves me wondering how my friends with 8 or 9 kids *ever* manage (and/or keep their sanity). After a while I start to feel like the catcher in right field - I do a lot of nothing for a really long time but then I have to be ready to be in just-the-right-place-at-the-right-time or else the whole thing falls apart. Two insane hours in the morning trying to get everyone out the door and matched up with the right bus. Four insane hours in the evening picking them up and getting through the herculean task of playing what I call The Homework General. Oh, and figuring out how to provide a somewhat nutritious dinner in and amongst the chaos. I'm trying to get used to my rather inside out schedule. From say 8:30AM to around 3PM my life is (mostly) my own to schedule. But my crazy busiest time is from 3PM to 10PM doing the bus pickup/ homework/ dinner/ bath/ bed routine. I somehow have to get up at 6AM and have enough steam left over for what is, essentially my "evening shift". And when I say steam, I mean Awake and Functioning On All Cylinders - because when you have any kids with special needs (and 2 of my 3 are) you need an extra special dose of patience. I can do patience. With enough sleep under my belt. I can fake Awake with caffeine. I cannot fake Patience with caffeine. So in the world of my inside out schedule, I am planning for mornings (when possible) to be lazily drink coffee, catch up on blogging, take a nap, organize-the-rest-of-my-day time. Maybe I'll be able to finally write down some of those ideas that went flittering by during the summer. Afternoons for running errands as has been Standard Operating Procedure for the past 2 years. It doesn't look like the Typical Mom schedule, I'm sure. But I have come to realize I value my sanity over industriousness (and an organized house). Happy, healthy kids need a Sane Mommy. Just remember that if you drop by for a visit, you're welcome to come in - just ignore the clutter. I'll get around to it after Little One outgrows his need for getting-attention-by-taking-things-apart. Maybe he'll outgrow it soon. Or maybe I can eventually put my budding engineer to work when things around the house break....hmmmmm.....

Yippee!

Testing, testing...

Ok... Officially impressed. I'm blogging from my new iPod Touch. Hooray for being part of the 21st century!!