We always seem to cram all our travel into August. So I've spent the past month or so doing laundry, packing, traveling, unpacking etc., etc., ad infinitum. I'm home long enough to catch up on the necessaries, but it has left my thoughts very scattered. School starts for 3 of my family next week (2 of the kids and my husband) so at that point life will resume (whatever passes for) normalcy around here.
An update on the reading list - I really recommend the Twilight series. I'm now 3/4 of the way through the 2nd one (New Moon) and picked up the last two in anticipation. I've been warned that the 4th book drops the ball a bit, but I'll let you know when I get that far.
I got a bit sidetracked when I went to the library - I can never seem to drop books off and leave without something else. I picked up "God, A Brief History" because I wanted to learn more about world religions. My friend Amy is in Japan right now, so I'm studying a bit of Japanese culture. And on the way out the door I discovered one of my favorite authors just released a new one - "The Third Circle" by Amanda Quick. She writes historical romantic suspense, very nice end of summer reading so far...
Hopefully a few days after we get back I'll be able to gather up my scattered wits and pick up with Chapter 8.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Spiritual Warfare - An Example
The next post in my Life of Beth series is going to address the point in my life where I began to recognize the spiritual battle for what it was. I thought I'd share a present day example of what it tends to look like in my normal, just-trying-to-hang-on-to-the-hem-of-Jesus'-robe day to day Christian walk.
Last night I attended an important meeting at our church because of a task that I feel God has called me to. This task, and that of others at the meeting, will have a significant effect on the future of our church. If you are a born again Christian, you know that this is the sort of situation which thrusts a believer into the heart of spiritual warfare.
If you have somehow found this blog and are not a Christian, it's important to understand that (we believe) the closer you draw near to God, the more you seek the face of God and His will, the more likely you are to incur the wrath of the enemy (Satan). This wrath takes the form of spiritual warfare against the believer. It can come in most any form, internal or external, real or "imagined", and usually attacks exactly wherever the believer is most vulnerable. Health, finances, family, security, self-image, emotions, sleep - no part of a believer's life is completely safe from attack. (And those who would suggest otherwise are either deluding themselves or have not spent much time reading about the life of the apostle Paul. Or the life of Jesus, for that matter.)
OK, so I wrote this last night after I got home - the attack began within minutes of leaving the meeting:
from August 19, 2008
I am feeling very spiritually fragile right now. A couple months back I took on a task I believed in my heart God had called me to do. In fact, I believe this task is one of the main reasons He placed us in the church we are currently attending. I am still sure that God called me, but I am no longer sure why.
I am feeling a lot like Moses, stammering and stuttering out to God why he was the wrong man for the job. When I think about the enormity of the task, and it's importance to the future of our church, I become desperately frightened. Somewhere I once read, that if we accept a task that we can do within our own human capacity, then how does God get the glory? But if we accept a task that can only be done by God working through us - then all the glory is His.
Well, this must be a God-sized task. Because I haven't a clue how to accomplish it in any of my human capacity even on my very best of days.
I am David, standing before Goliath with a slingshot. I am Gideon with his whittled down army. I am Joshua marching around the great fortified city of Jericho armed with only musicians carrying trumpets. And I have one month before my part of this task comes due. If God does not show up soon and multiply my few loaves and fishes (of ideas) I am going down....
_______________
8/20/08 A postscript
I reached out in the middle of that confusion to a friend who is a strong prayer warrior. That helped.... a lot. Yet I know, this battle is only the tip of the iceberg. More (and worse) will follow. I am gathering up my courage to tell you of my 8th grade year. It was a year of great emotional and spiritual darkness, and since I've been finding myself almost re-living each year in the telling I need a good chunk of time to battle through the writing of it. I promise it's coming soon - I won't stop in the middle!
Last night I attended an important meeting at our church because of a task that I feel God has called me to. This task, and that of others at the meeting, will have a significant effect on the future of our church. If you are a born again Christian, you know that this is the sort of situation which thrusts a believer into the heart of spiritual warfare.
If you have somehow found this blog and are not a Christian, it's important to understand that (we believe) the closer you draw near to God, the more you seek the face of God and His will, the more likely you are to incur the wrath of the enemy (Satan). This wrath takes the form of spiritual warfare against the believer. It can come in most any form, internal or external, real or "imagined", and usually attacks exactly wherever the believer is most vulnerable. Health, finances, family, security, self-image, emotions, sleep - no part of a believer's life is completely safe from attack. (And those who would suggest otherwise are either deluding themselves or have not spent much time reading about the life of the apostle Paul. Or the life of Jesus, for that matter.)
OK, so I wrote this last night after I got home - the attack began within minutes of leaving the meeting:
from August 19, 2008
I am feeling very spiritually fragile right now. A couple months back I took on a task I believed in my heart God had called me to do. In fact, I believe this task is one of the main reasons He placed us in the church we are currently attending. I am still sure that God called me, but I am no longer sure why.
I am feeling a lot like Moses, stammering and stuttering out to God why he was the wrong man for the job. When I think about the enormity of the task, and it's importance to the future of our church, I become desperately frightened. Somewhere I once read, that if we accept a task that we can do within our own human capacity, then how does God get the glory? But if we accept a task that can only be done by God working through us - then all the glory is His.
Well, this must be a God-sized task. Because I haven't a clue how to accomplish it in any of my human capacity even on my very best of days.
I am David, standing before Goliath with a slingshot. I am Gideon with his whittled down army. I am Joshua marching around the great fortified city of Jericho armed with only musicians carrying trumpets. And I have one month before my part of this task comes due. If God does not show up soon and multiply my few loaves and fishes (of ideas) I am going down....
_______________
8/20/08 A postscript
I reached out in the middle of that confusion to a friend who is a strong prayer warrior. That helped.... a lot. Yet I know, this battle is only the tip of the iceberg. More (and worse) will follow. I am gathering up my courage to tell you of my 8th grade year. It was a year of great emotional and spiritual darkness, and since I've been finding myself almost re-living each year in the telling I need a good chunk of time to battle through the writing of it. I promise it's coming soon - I won't stop in the middle!
Monday, August 18, 2008
My new favorite store
OK, before I begin this, you need to understand that I normally don't get excited over stores - of any sort. Being The Mom, I seem to spend half of my waking life in stores of one sort or another. So one more store is not usually a big deal.
That said, yesterday we were coming home from our "summer's last hurrah" camping trip and just a few miles from home we passed a brand new SuperTarget. One of our traditions after all the counselors are gathered the day before our church camp week is the SuperWalmart run. So I was familiar with the concept of these superstores, but we had never had one near us.
Most of the time I prefer trees and green spaces to suburban sprawl, and small private retailers to mega giants. But seriously, when you have 3 small children, any store that provides one stop shopping and is less than 15 minutes from home is a Big Deal. And on this particular day, the day after returning from a fun-but-exhausting camping trip - and the day of our baby boy's 2nd birthday - with no extra food in the house because of the pre-vacation refrigerator disaster, this place was like Mecca for Moms.
How wonderful it will be to not need 3 separate stores on those days I need diapers, shampoo, batteries, a gift for someone, and something for dinner all at the same time! Yeah, I know, such a small thing to be excited about. But after 8 years of shuttling babies and small children in and out of car seats to pick up 1 or 2 things each at 3 different places this will make running errands so much easier. Especially with Daughter starting school and all those extra last minute things her teacher will probably want sent in....
That said, yesterday we were coming home from our "summer's last hurrah" camping trip and just a few miles from home we passed a brand new SuperTarget. One of our traditions after all the counselors are gathered the day before our church camp week is the SuperWalmart run. So I was familiar with the concept of these superstores, but we had never had one near us.
Most of the time I prefer trees and green spaces to suburban sprawl, and small private retailers to mega giants. But seriously, when you have 3 small children, any store that provides one stop shopping and is less than 15 minutes from home is a Big Deal. And on this particular day, the day after returning from a fun-but-exhausting camping trip - and the day of our baby boy's 2nd birthday - with no extra food in the house because of the pre-vacation refrigerator disaster, this place was like Mecca for Moms.
How wonderful it will be to not need 3 separate stores on those days I need diapers, shampoo, batteries, a gift for someone, and something for dinner all at the same time! Yeah, I know, such a small thing to be excited about. But after 8 years of shuttling babies and small children in and out of car seats to pick up 1 or 2 things each at 3 different places this will make running errands so much easier. Especially with Daughter starting school and all those extra last minute things her teacher will probably want sent in....
Friday, August 15, 2008
A quick teaser
Just in case you think I went and got lost somewhere in the wilderness, I want to touch base really quickly before I'm off and running again...
We just got back from visiting family and now we're dashing off for our "summer's last hurrah" camping trip. But, in the interim - I'd like to share what's on my reading list these days. If you're bored and need a good read one of these will do nicely. Oh, yeah - here's the teaser - I'm going to be writing at least one (or more) posts that will include ideas these books jogged in my memory.
1. Lisey's Story - by Stephen King (just finished)
2. Bag of Bones - by Stephen King (in the middle)
3. The Shack - by William P. Young (refuse to finish until we get back, read the back cover you'll see why! *Warning* - I've only just started this and recommend you read it with a grain of salt....it is *fiction* not theological fact)
4. Twilight - by Stephenie Meyer (rapidly devouring this and eager to get the next installment!)
5. War and Peace - Tolstoy (reading slowly, it's a tome)
Yes, I have very eclectic tastes. Yes, I always read more than one book at a time. The only thing unusual about this list is I am not normally a fan of horror fiction. But the first one I snitched from my husband when he borrowed it from the library. And I liked it so well I went looking for more from his collection (on his recommendation of which wouldn't be too scary for me).
Anyway, there's the list - happy reading!
We just got back from visiting family and now we're dashing off for our "summer's last hurrah" camping trip. But, in the interim - I'd like to share what's on my reading list these days. If you're bored and need a good read one of these will do nicely. Oh, yeah - here's the teaser - I'm going to be writing at least one (or more) posts that will include ideas these books jogged in my memory.
1. Lisey's Story - by Stephen King (just finished)
2. Bag of Bones - by Stephen King (in the middle)
3. The Shack - by William P. Young (refuse to finish until we get back, read the back cover you'll see why! *Warning* - I've only just started this and recommend you read it with a grain of salt....it is *fiction* not theological fact)
4. Twilight - by Stephenie Meyer (rapidly devouring this and eager to get the next installment!)
5. War and Peace - Tolstoy (reading slowly, it's a tome)
Yes, I have very eclectic tastes. Yes, I always read more than one book at a time. The only thing unusual about this list is I am not normally a fan of horror fiction. But the first one I snitched from my husband when he borrowed it from the library. And I liked it so well I went looking for more from his collection (on his recommendation of which wouldn't be too scary for me).
Anyway, there's the list - happy reading!
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Yippee!
In the time honored tradition of Veggie Tales "Silly Songs with Larry" please sing along with me (to the tune of The Lone Ranger)
" It's a fridge, it's a fridge, it's a fridge, fridge, fridge
It's a fridge, it's a fridge, it's a fridge, fridge, fridge
It's a fridge, it's a fridge, it's a fridge, fridge, fridge
Oh, hooray! I've got a working fridge!"
I'm a little excited - can you tell?
The new refrigerator was delivered at 2:30 PM today, 1/2 an hour before they even thought they could get here. My kids went bonkers watching - they kept asking the delivery guys all these questions, running around like excited puppies underfoot. Then I had to make a frantic call to hubby to ask him how to turn the water lead back on (for the icemaker - he turned it off, but neglected to tell me where the valve was.) Turns out it was in the basement ceiling, 3 feet above my head - here's me scrambling to find something sturdy to stand on....
And - ta da! A working fridge again.....how lovely!
Now if I can just keep the kids from fighting for/overusing the water and ice dispenser on the door, we'll be in business.
" It's a fridge, it's a fridge, it's a fridge, fridge, fridge
It's a fridge, it's a fridge, it's a fridge, fridge, fridge
It's a fridge, it's a fridge, it's a fridge, fridge, fridge
Oh, hooray! I've got a working fridge!"
I'm a little excited - can you tell?
The new refrigerator was delivered at 2:30 PM today, 1/2 an hour before they even thought they could get here. My kids went bonkers watching - they kept asking the delivery guys all these questions, running around like excited puppies underfoot. Then I had to make a frantic call to hubby to ask him how to turn the water lead back on (for the icemaker - he turned it off, but neglected to tell me where the valve was.) Turns out it was in the basement ceiling, 3 feet above my head - here's me scrambling to find something sturdy to stand on....
And - ta da! A working fridge again.....how lovely!
Now if I can just keep the kids from fighting for/overusing the water and ice dispenser on the door, we'll be in business.
Life of Beth=:) (Some necessary background on PA schools)
I was going to jump right into Chapter 8 here, but I realized that I needed a whole post on some background information about Pennsylvania schools, especially mine.
I'm not sure how all the other states in the country district their schools, but Virginia schools (where we are now) are districted *very* differently from Pennsylvania schools (where I grew up.) Virginia makes each whole county a school district, with a few exceptions like the city of Manassas, which is its own entity.
In Pennsylvania, school districts were apportioned more, well, organically for lack of a better word. First established around the major cities, then apportioned (I'm guessing here) as needed in the suburbs. The result was that our tiny suburb of the city of Reading (3 small boroughs) had its own school district, the smallest in the area. We had approximately 900 students in the whole school district when I was in high school. So if one of our classmates' families had to move to another part of town, they ended up in another school district. There had, therefore, *always* been a rivalry with our neighboring (larger) school districts.
When I first started school, Antietam school district had 3 elementary schools (k-6) and one high school (7-12). When I wrote about being switched elementary schools after 2nd grade, what had happened was that they turned one of the elementary schools into a middle school (5-8), my former elementary school into a special ed. center, and sent everyone to the biggest elementary school. By the time I was ready for 5th grade, I went right into the middle school. But towards the end of my time in the middle school, there were rumors that now the middle school would close, and we would have one elementary school, and the high school (7-12 again).
Now, the thing you need to understand is that one of our biggest rival schools was Central Catholic High. Up until that point, it was a mostly friendly rivalry. Most of the kids who went there had entered the district as kids at St. Catherine's, and just went right on up through the high school. As kids we only rarely had occasion to think about anyone's religion. We were a mix of Protestant, Catholic, and Jewish kids who really only thought about that when one of us celebrated a holiday that someone else didn't. Until 8th grade.
In 8th grade, the rumblings of discontent began. All of our classmates who were Catholic suddenly started talking about how their families were seriously considering pulling them out after 8th grade and enrolling them at Central because their parents were sick and tired of Antietam's antics (there was much more going on behind the scenes.) And we would joke with them and all, but towards the end of the year, we realized they were serious.
There were around 100 kids in our 8th grade class. I started 9th grade with maybe 80 classmates. Yes, we lost about 1/5 of our classmates to our rival school. From that moment on the rivalry turned very, very bitter.
I'm not sure how all the other states in the country district their schools, but Virginia schools (where we are now) are districted *very* differently from Pennsylvania schools (where I grew up.) Virginia makes each whole county a school district, with a few exceptions like the city of Manassas, which is its own entity.
In Pennsylvania, school districts were apportioned more, well, organically for lack of a better word. First established around the major cities, then apportioned (I'm guessing here) as needed in the suburbs. The result was that our tiny suburb of the city of Reading (3 small boroughs) had its own school district, the smallest in the area. We had approximately 900 students in the whole school district when I was in high school. So if one of our classmates' families had to move to another part of town, they ended up in another school district. There had, therefore, *always* been a rivalry with our neighboring (larger) school districts.
When I first started school, Antietam school district had 3 elementary schools (k-6) and one high school (7-12). When I wrote about being switched elementary schools after 2nd grade, what had happened was that they turned one of the elementary schools into a middle school (5-8), my former elementary school into a special ed. center, and sent everyone to the biggest elementary school. By the time I was ready for 5th grade, I went right into the middle school. But towards the end of my time in the middle school, there were rumors that now the middle school would close, and we would have one elementary school, and the high school (7-12 again).
Now, the thing you need to understand is that one of our biggest rival schools was Central Catholic High. Up until that point, it was a mostly friendly rivalry. Most of the kids who went there had entered the district as kids at St. Catherine's, and just went right on up through the high school. As kids we only rarely had occasion to think about anyone's religion. We were a mix of Protestant, Catholic, and Jewish kids who really only thought about that when one of us celebrated a holiday that someone else didn't. Until 8th grade.
In 8th grade, the rumblings of discontent began. All of our classmates who were Catholic suddenly started talking about how their families were seriously considering pulling them out after 8th grade and enrolling them at Central because their parents were sick and tired of Antietam's antics (there was much more going on behind the scenes.) And we would joke with them and all, but towards the end of the year, we realized they were serious.
There were around 100 kids in our 8th grade class. I started 9th grade with maybe 80 classmates. Yes, we lost about 1/5 of our classmates to our rival school. From that moment on the rivalry turned very, very bitter.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Refrigeration woes
My husband and I seem to be having a problem lately with Things That Have Air Compressors. Two years ago (when I was nearly 9 months pregnant with our youngest) our home's air conditioner quit. Got that fixed. Last Thanksgiving my car's air conditioner quit. Since we could limp along without it over the winter, it got fixed in June of this year. (It is quite unbearable to go through July and August in Virginia, with children, without one.) Last week, my husband's car air conditioner quit. He's determined to manage without it for a while (for how long depends mostly on whether anything else breaks in the meantime.)
And on Friday night, our refrigerator quit. Oh, joy.
It's enough to make a person wonder if someone is trying to tell us something. If this is a message, it got lost in translation. It's enough to make a person think there is some sort of Refrigeration Conspiracy. Did we somehow offend the Air Compressor's Union and they're all going on strike? I have no idea. But it's been a frustrating week living with food in coolers, eating weird combinations of leftovers for dinner, and having the kids ask why we can't go grocery shopping. (As to that, I suppose we could - but since we'd originally planned a restock grocery run for Saturday morning, and we need to buy our camping food supplies anyway -it just seemed silly to make 2 or 3 trips.)
So tonight we had the fun of Moving The Furniture. Because for some reason, when builders build houses, they seem to forget that at some point people will need to replace a large piece of furniture or an appliance. So they build 36 inch wide doors, that really only allow 34 inches to pass, and skinny little entryways that turn a 90 degree angle to enter a living room. Luckily it's a straight shot once you get through there, but we still had to move one overstuffed chair and one (very heavy, even half empty) hutch. And all the detritus that had accumulated on and around them. Because it is usually quite impossible to handle something as large as a refrigerator with any sort of delicacy or precision. It makes much more sense to simply remove the possible obstacles.
All of this becomes even more interesting when you figure in one autistic son, one energetic daughter, and one might-as-well-be-Curious-George baby son into the picture. Poor Chris has been at his wits end this week, asking why all this upheaval is happening (why? I wish *I* knew why?) Charlotte (who ought to be named Tigger, for she bounces everywhere) simply talks a mile a minute about everything. And Connor has taken the opportunity while Mommy and Daddy are distracted to Wreak Havoc. Trying to flush things down the toilet, playing with the trash can, opening the coolers keeping our food cold and picking out the ice, going into the bathrooms and running away with everybody's toothbrushes, emptying out the kitchen cabinets...the list goes on and on and on.
Sigh - I will be so grateful to get this all taken care of tomorrow. And then all I need to do is buy more food, find the camping gear, wash the camp bedding, pack the clothes, pack the food.....I think I will need a vacation from this vacation....
And on Friday night, our refrigerator quit. Oh, joy.
It's enough to make a person wonder if someone is trying to tell us something. If this is a message, it got lost in translation. It's enough to make a person think there is some sort of Refrigeration Conspiracy. Did we somehow offend the Air Compressor's Union and they're all going on strike? I have no idea. But it's been a frustrating week living with food in coolers, eating weird combinations of leftovers for dinner, and having the kids ask why we can't go grocery shopping. (As to that, I suppose we could - but since we'd originally planned a restock grocery run for Saturday morning, and we need to buy our camping food supplies anyway -it just seemed silly to make 2 or 3 trips.)
So tonight we had the fun of Moving The Furniture. Because for some reason, when builders build houses, they seem to forget that at some point people will need to replace a large piece of furniture or an appliance. So they build 36 inch wide doors, that really only allow 34 inches to pass, and skinny little entryways that turn a 90 degree angle to enter a living room. Luckily it's a straight shot once you get through there, but we still had to move one overstuffed chair and one (very heavy, even half empty) hutch. And all the detritus that had accumulated on and around them. Because it is usually quite impossible to handle something as large as a refrigerator with any sort of delicacy or precision. It makes much more sense to simply remove the possible obstacles.
All of this becomes even more interesting when you figure in one autistic son, one energetic daughter, and one might-as-well-be-Curious-George baby son into the picture. Poor Chris has been at his wits end this week, asking why all this upheaval is happening (why? I wish *I* knew why?) Charlotte (who ought to be named Tigger, for she bounces everywhere) simply talks a mile a minute about everything. And Connor has taken the opportunity while Mommy and Daddy are distracted to Wreak Havoc. Trying to flush things down the toilet, playing with the trash can, opening the coolers keeping our food cold and picking out the ice, going into the bathrooms and running away with everybody's toothbrushes, emptying out the kitchen cabinets...the list goes on and on and on.
Sigh - I will be so grateful to get this all taken care of tomorrow. And then all I need to do is buy more food, find the camping gear, wash the camp bedding, pack the clothes, pack the food.....I think I will need a vacation from this vacation....
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Life of Beth=:) (Chapter 7 - 7th Grade)
Well, I guess that's appropriate - my chapters now line up with my year in school. Fancy that.
Seventh grade was the year that all the girls in my class went fashion crazy. I started reading Teen and Seventeen and Young Miss magazines, started begging my mom to let me wear makeup and get my ears pierced (she said yes to the makeup, no to the ears), and saved my allowance to buy the latest music and hair frou-frou. I had a growth spurt that summer to make up for the 5th grade chubby phase (thank you God!) and I was able to get more involved in school clubs and things.
It was a year of preteen angst and lots of highs and lows. I had 3 or 4 friends that I started spending a lot more time with. And I had a nemesis who drove me crazy. I'm not sure why, but this girl made it her business to find ways to torment me, and get her friends to do the same.
And, oh yeah, seventh grade was also the year that all the girls in my class went boy crazy. Including me. It's hard now, as I watch my 3 busy children tear around the house, to remember just how much teenage angst filled my 7th through 12th grade years. To remember how much I despaired of ever having a date, much less a boyfriend or a husband. And just so we can get this out of the way - I had ONE date, in all of my middle and high school years. And I was the one who did the asking. And it wasn't the prom. Ok, I said it. This is unfortunately not going to be the story of how Shy Wallflower Ugly Duckling becomes Beautiful Swan and Prom Queen. (It was many years later that I finally got around to feeling like Beautiful Swan.)
Anyway, this is where the spiritual battle and the layers of the mask began in earnest. I learned to be a very good little chameleon, adjusting my personality to suit the occasion and the people I was with. In some ways, it's a shame we had no real drama department - I was becoming a natural actress. By turns I was Smart Girl, Goofy Girl, Busy Girl, Sympathetic Friend Girl, Church Girl, Creative Girl, and Sarcastic Girl. And if I couldn't manage to fake it in any given situation, I defaulted to Loner Girl, in which I tried to pretend I could care less. This is not to say I was always a fake. My few close friends understood me about as well as anyone could have given all I was hiding behind my chameleon mask. My parents loved me and listened, but their advice was usually to just ignore the teasing (unfortunately I could pretend to not notice, but my ears still worked).
I'd been given a diary a couple years previous, and this was the year I discovered that if I couldn't find a sympathetic ear, I could always find a sympathetic page. So all the things I couldn't tell even my parents or closest friends went down on those pages. Every once in a while I got brave and tried to do or say something that was from the Real Me, but usually I got strange looks or teasing out of those efforts, so the mask slid firmly back into place.
This was also the year I began learning that keeping really busy was a great way to distract myself from thinking too hard. It also gave me an outlet. I poured myself into my schoolwork, my flute playing, my singing (at school and at church), and my after school clubs. Once I got home, music, writing, and reading as many books as I could get my hands on became my solace. I would turn the music way up and sing my heart out, and dance through my pain.
And the summer after 7th grade, God finally sent a ray of light to brighten the darkness - in the form of a favor to a friend of my mother's. (I didn't know it at the time, however.) One of the ladies at my church, Mrs. M, who lived just up the street, had her young granddaughter visit every Thursday and Friday during the summer. Our street was only a couple blocks from the local pool, and her granddaughter loved to go swimming. Except that Mrs. M didn't really like hanging out at the busy pool, sitting in the hot sun. So she asked my mother if maybe I could take her granddaughter to the pool with me sometimes (since it was The Place To Be I was there most every day). Mom asked me, and I decided hey, why not - do something different for a change. I'd met Mrs. M's granddaughter and she seemed nice - she'd just finished 2nd grade. It was fun, and since I was an only child, it was kind of like getting a chance to be a big sister for a bit.
Little did I know in doing that small favor I would make a friend for life....
Seventh grade was the year that all the girls in my class went fashion crazy. I started reading Teen and Seventeen and Young Miss magazines, started begging my mom to let me wear makeup and get my ears pierced (she said yes to the makeup, no to the ears), and saved my allowance to buy the latest music and hair frou-frou. I had a growth spurt that summer to make up for the 5th grade chubby phase (thank you God!) and I was able to get more involved in school clubs and things.
It was a year of preteen angst and lots of highs and lows. I had 3 or 4 friends that I started spending a lot more time with. And I had a nemesis who drove me crazy. I'm not sure why, but this girl made it her business to find ways to torment me, and get her friends to do the same.
And, oh yeah, seventh grade was also the year that all the girls in my class went boy crazy. Including me. It's hard now, as I watch my 3 busy children tear around the house, to remember just how much teenage angst filled my 7th through 12th grade years. To remember how much I despaired of ever having a date, much less a boyfriend or a husband. And just so we can get this out of the way - I had ONE date, in all of my middle and high school years. And I was the one who did the asking. And it wasn't the prom. Ok, I said it. This is unfortunately not going to be the story of how Shy Wallflower Ugly Duckling becomes Beautiful Swan and Prom Queen. (It was many years later that I finally got around to feeling like Beautiful Swan.)
Anyway, this is where the spiritual battle and the layers of the mask began in earnest. I learned to be a very good little chameleon, adjusting my personality to suit the occasion and the people I was with. In some ways, it's a shame we had no real drama department - I was becoming a natural actress. By turns I was Smart Girl, Goofy Girl, Busy Girl, Sympathetic Friend Girl, Church Girl, Creative Girl, and Sarcastic Girl. And if I couldn't manage to fake it in any given situation, I defaulted to Loner Girl, in which I tried to pretend I could care less. This is not to say I was always a fake. My few close friends understood me about as well as anyone could have given all I was hiding behind my chameleon mask. My parents loved me and listened, but their advice was usually to just ignore the teasing (unfortunately I could pretend to not notice, but my ears still worked).
I'd been given a diary a couple years previous, and this was the year I discovered that if I couldn't find a sympathetic ear, I could always find a sympathetic page. So all the things I couldn't tell even my parents or closest friends went down on those pages. Every once in a while I got brave and tried to do or say something that was from the Real Me, but usually I got strange looks or teasing out of those efforts, so the mask slid firmly back into place.
This was also the year I began learning that keeping really busy was a great way to distract myself from thinking too hard. It also gave me an outlet. I poured myself into my schoolwork, my flute playing, my singing (at school and at church), and my after school clubs. Once I got home, music, writing, and reading as many books as I could get my hands on became my solace. I would turn the music way up and sing my heart out, and dance through my pain.
And the summer after 7th grade, God finally sent a ray of light to brighten the darkness - in the form of a favor to a friend of my mother's. (I didn't know it at the time, however.) One of the ladies at my church, Mrs. M, who lived just up the street, had her young granddaughter visit every Thursday and Friday during the summer. Our street was only a couple blocks from the local pool, and her granddaughter loved to go swimming. Except that Mrs. M didn't really like hanging out at the busy pool, sitting in the hot sun. So she asked my mother if maybe I could take her granddaughter to the pool with me sometimes (since it was The Place To Be I was there most every day). Mom asked me, and I decided hey, why not - do something different for a change. I'd met Mrs. M's granddaughter and she seemed nice - she'd just finished 2nd grade. It was fun, and since I was an only child, it was kind of like getting a chance to be a big sister for a bit.
Little did I know in doing that small favor I would make a friend for life....
Life of Beth=:) (Chapter 6 - Intermission)
Okay, the past 2 days have left me tired and mentally muddled. We'd been preparing to go on vacation (just camping and visiting family, just so you know it's not like a huge trip) when life intervened and we suddenly found ourselves appliance shopping.
Now I'm trying to switch mental gears and at least get out of my middle school years before going away and my mind is mush. Since I worked so hard to try to forget these years, now that I'm trying to remember the parts really significant to my spiritual journey, I find them all out of chronological order in my head. So I'll just write about them as they come back to me and hopefully it will be vaguely understandable...
Now I'm trying to switch mental gears and at least get out of my middle school years before going away and my mind is mush. Since I worked so hard to try to forget these years, now that I'm trying to remember the parts really significant to my spiritual journey, I find them all out of chronological order in my head. So I'll just write about them as they come back to me and hopefully it will be vaguely understandable...
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Introducing a new blogger (drumroll please...)
I am SO excited! I just learned that one of our very dear friends has started a blog. She is an amazing writer - I have loved everything she's ever written, from poems to letters to emails. She's one of those "old soul" type of folks, with such depths of wisdom and insight. She's a wonderful storyteller with a unique sense of humor. If I believed in reincarnation I would have said she was a shaman or a wise-woman in a former life. But she's been a pastor these past 10 years and that's pretty close. So, without further ado, may I present
With My Face to the Rising Sun http://preacherlady.wordpress.com/
Savor. Enjoy. And if you love her writing as much as I do, show her some link love....
With My Face to the Rising Sun http://preacherlady.wordpress.com/
Savor. Enjoy. And if you love her writing as much as I do, show her some link love....
Our own Citibank commercial
So, we did our part to stimulate the American economy today. Last night I came home(at midnight, from a meeting, mind you) to a wide-eyed frantic husband telling me that our refrigerator was on its last legs. After doing triage to the food and administering a little appliance CPR we pronounced it brain dead about noon today. We left it on life support and made the rounds of the home stores for a replacement.
So here's our version of Citibank's infamous commercial:
$1003.20 New side-by-side refrigerator with ice maker on the door
$ 100.00 Four year extended service warranty
$ 19.50 Dinner for 5 at McDonald's
__________
Peace of mind that we won't come home from vacation to spoiled food - PRICELESS!!
So here's our version of Citibank's infamous commercial:
$1003.20 New side-by-side refrigerator with ice maker on the door
$ 100.00 Four year extended service warranty
$ 19.50 Dinner for 5 at McDonald's
__________
Peace of mind that we won't come home from vacation to spoiled food - PRICELESS!!
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