Spirituality and Autism

Ok, sorry - my blog has temporarily been taken over by the topic of autism, because my LIFE has temporarily been taken over by autism.

Spirituality is a huge issue in the lives of families dealing with autism, yet I find very little (on the internet and otherwise) addressing it. For the purposes of discussion I'm including anyone of any faith because I think it's very pertinent to our lives. There are 3 specific issues which keep coming up in my life, and I would assume in the lives of parents in a similar situation.

1. How does my faith in the Divine (in whatever form you believe) help me in my day-to-day life coping with autism and all its various aspects?

2. How do I help my autistic child cultivate a relationship or understanding of the Divine and how will I know when he/she "gets" it?

3. How does my spiritual community support me/my child in dealing with autism and educating others about it?

Upon leaving our last church, I found myself sinking deeper and deeper into a "dark night of the soul." Part of it was admittedly other factors in my life, but no small part of it was due to the utter frustration I was experiencing trying to keep my family involved in church, my own faith alive, and not losing my mind to the crazy schedule the whole thing created.

It was like being on a seesaw where I was constantly juggling my need for involvement with my family's need for down time together, along with the need of a church/sunday school program suitable for *all* the children. The "perfect church" at the time was 20-something miles away. Well...perfect on paper. Doesn't matter how good a church is on paper - if you have an autistic child *no* church that far away will work.

After a 6 month or so mental health break (breakdown?) from church we began the process of finding a new church. It was quite the hit-or-miss experience. After a while we gave up trying to get *all five* of us to every new setting - I became the Scout, who did an exploratory foray to each church, seeking suitability, both practical and spiritual. Would the service logistics fit our family? Did they have people familiar with autistic kids? Could they be flexible regarding Chris' needs and behavior? Were the people gentle and compassionate? Was the setting itself somewhat calm and the process of check in easy?

If it seems like those questions are selfish and picky, you have never tried raising a family with an autistic child in it. I realized that I *had* to be picky in order for us to have a chance at making a good fit in a church. One church was close, family oriented, a denomination we loved, had a great music program, and very active both within and in the community. And.....all children over the age of 5 were expected to sit through service. It worked for all of 6 weeks, I think.

A friend's church was very close, had a great children's program, lots of activities, familiar denomination, and....the check-in process took half an hour both in and out for our 3 children and was overwhelming for *us* let alone *them*.

And so it went -like Goldilocks - this one too big, that one too small, too many activities, not enough activities, no program for older kids, etc. After maybe a year and a half of fruitless searching - we've at least found one to attend, when, in fact, we can manage to get there.(See previous post about when you have a child with autism).

It started me wondering about how other cultures and faiths support (or don't support) families of kids with autism, and how they help those parents address the above questions. More on that in a bit...