Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Pain is a potent teacher

I'm in a lot of pain today. A couple days ago I managed to wrench my shoulder muscles in the midst of wrestling my strong and stubborn baby son into his car seat. I didn't notice it right away - but by that evening the whole upper left side of my body was throbbing in pain. Even with pain killers in me it kept me from sleeping that night. For the past two days I've felt like a bird with a broken wing. You'd be amazed at how many times a day you use that muscle between your neck and your shoulder blade.

Some would say well, go to the doctor. Except I already know what he'll say - here's some pain medication and rest it as much as possible. I've been trying to rest it but I've been learning a little more just how fearfully and wonderfully God has made us. Did you know you use your shoulder muscles to type? I didn't - but I'm quickly learning it now. Did you know you use your shoulder muscles for balance, even when you're not carrying anything in that hand? I do now. Every time you reach for something, every time you drive your car, even just holding something in your hand - you use your shoulder muscles. Arrgh....ow....ouch.

This comes on the heels of a very annoying, exhausting week last week. Easter Sunday - we'd gotten home at 1 am, but staggered and stumbled our way to church that morning. Only to get there and find out it's family Sunday so there is no child care except for the little ones (which we're keeping Connor out of right now to keep watch on his teeth). So after 90 minutes of trying to hold them still (I was out in the hall with Connor for half of it) they were just done....finished....done. We dragged our grumpy children home, fed them, then Brian did grades for 4 hours (I collapsed for a nap). I woke up to the kids complaining they didn't get to do Easter eggs (I'd thought Brian was going to do that in the afternoon but his work took too long).

Made dinner to the sounds of complaining children, ate, got them started on baths. Realized I'd forgotten to call my mother - call her up and find out she was in a car accident coming home from church. Thank God she was okay, but her car was probably totaled. Talk to her for over an hour trying to comfort and calm her down. Fall exhausted and sad into bed.

Monday tried to catch up with things.

Tuesday took the kids to the pediatric dentist for (what I thought was regular cleaning/checkup). Chris was fine, but the dentist insisted Charlotte was going to need $2,000 worth of work on her teeth. Huh?!? Said that she had all these cavities between her teeth. Was there all morning, the kids missed half of school - terrified, exhausted and depressed I slogged through the rain to drop them off at their respective schools.

Tuesday afternoon called my husband, my mother, and my in-laws for comfort and advice. Fell into a deep, dark hole of depression - took a nap in hopes that recovering from my adrenaline rush would help.

Wednesday and Thursday - sun came out - felt a little better - made appointment with original dentist for second opinion. Mom had talked with insurance company, gotten rental car, and though the car would be totaled, she felt better and more optimistic about car shopping.

By the time the weekend rolls around, all I want to do is sleep - tired from being on this emotional rollercoaster.

All this has left me feeling far removed from my "normal" life and its busyness.

Added on top of some of the things I experienced while away on spring break (which were good things) has had me spending a lot of time with God, pondering whether I'd had too much busyness and not enough life, in my life lately.

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