Day after Christmas - presents unwrapped, children cranky and bored, too much rich food eaten, tired and depressed, feels like the flu is coming on. Anyone else experience "Christmas crash"?
In a way, this is all tied in to the spiritual path I find myself on these days. It's December - supposedly "the most wonderful time of the year". A time when the world-at-large tells us we should be "decking the halls" and "rockin' around the Christmas tree". But I imagine I am not the only person who, as merchants and advertisers get louder and more obnoxious each year about hawking their wares - who wishes that the whole commercialized end of the business would disappear for good. Who wonders if perhaps those few unusual folks who book their Caribbean cruise to escape the whole thing have the right idea.
As a little girl, I was crazy about everything Christmas. It was also my Dad's favorite time of the year, so I got to spend extra time with him working on Christmas stuff. But I was an only child, my mom a SAHM, and my dad was home by 6pm every night. And we lived in a small suburb of a small-ish city. Pretty much everything we needed was no more than a 10 minute car ride away.
Fast forward to today - I am a SAHM of 3 children (all school age). My two sons have special needs. My husband, a music/orchestra teacher, has a holiday concert week next week. Four concerts - one each Mon. through Thurs. For us, it will be like he's on a week long business trip. Except he will sleep at home. The oldest celebrates his birthday on Monday, and has his own holiday concert the Monday after. We are a very, very busy family and we live in very, very busy area (metro DC).
I began to realize a few years ago, that if I wanted to keep my health and sanity intact, I needed to pull back from what is "expected" at the holidays. A dear friend compartmentalizes them into Christ-mass (celebration of the Holy) and X-mess (the commercialized end of the season). I know I am not the only one who wonders if we would *all* be better off without the X-mess. I mean really - just think about the many, many things that may be on a person's to-do list at the holidays (and it wouldn't matter much your religious persuasion as the whole country gets caught up in it).
1. Decorating the house
2. Writing holiday cards
3. Buying presents
4. Holiday baking, meal-planning (with accompanying extra trips to grocery store)
5. Holiday photos
6. Parties of all sorts (school, work, social)
7. Holiday performances (for those who sing, play, or dance)
8. Extra charitable work (for scouts or religious organizations)
9. Extra services, programs, and projects for church, temple, etc.
10. Visiting far-flung family (packing to travel, or major cleaning to entertain, or
both!
And....that's just the short list. Add in people with December birthdays, single parent families, a bad economy, traffic snarls, short tempers, skeletons in family closets, and flu season - well, someone ought to make a disaster movie out of the whole thing!
I don't think it matters if you celebrate Christ's birth, Hannukah, Kwanzaa, or the winter solstice. Does any of us really need or want this craziness any more? Am I the only one who finds advertisements for thousand dollar laptops, giant flat screen tv's and cars wearing giant red bows insulting?
Well, regardless of whether anyone else does, I've decided that *I* do. And I'm doing something about - by doing less - a lot less. I'm doing the things that are necessary and important to our family.
For example:
1. I will bake my Grandma's homemade chocolate cake for Chris' birthday, and have a small family celebration. Christmas cookie baking optional.
2. I will not feel guilty about not sending Christmas cards - I don't enjoy doing them, and they take up too much time.
3. Holiday concerts will be attended (and conducted, in Brian's case). It's his paycheck and my son's grade.
4. Church will be attended on Sunday only - no Christmas programs, no choir, no special events - exception made for Christmas Eve (if such service is planned).
5. No holiday over-spending. Cash only, within budget. Extended family will have to live with that.
6. Christmas day meals will consist of Special Holiday Breakfast (usually special egg strata with cinnamon buns or some such) and chicken and waffles for dinner. Get your own lunch. Mom is neither Paula Deen nor Martha Stewart. (And since Mom will be starting holiday packing preparations on Christmas night, Mom needs energy to do so.)
7. Holiday decorations will consist of those things which are easy and make sense. One Christmas tree will be decorated. One door decoration will be hung. All other decorations (outside lights, etc.) are on an optional, as-time-permits basis.
8. Holiday preparations will *not* be made at the expense of sleep, meals, or sanity of either parents or children.
9. Time will be made for quiet reflection and family togetherness.
And, maybe those of us with a religious bent - I can only speak for Christians, but perhaps other have this too - should implore our churches, etc. to not add to the burden. I can't tell you how many years I have spent wearing myself out "in the service of Christ" at the holidays. Choir rehearsals, drama rehearsals, dinners, service projects, toy and clothing drives, Sunday school productions, parties, evangelism outreach, extra services. Countless Christmases (and Easters) I've spent sick and/or with laryngitis from singing 2-3 holiday productions a day. In the service of Christ (or so we say.) Perhaps we (and our neighbors) would be better off if we stopped contributing to the craziness and ministered to our families and the poor and lonely at the holidays - and skipped the glitz and glitter.
Me, I'll be at home, quietly lighting candles and contemplating a Light in the darkness...
